Good Riddance 2011

Wow! I can't believe how fast 2011 has flown by. What a crazy up and down year it has been. It's amazing to think of all the changes I've made in my life in just 12 short months. While I hesitate to say 2011 was a "bad" year, I certainly hope 2012 will be a better year. The last three years have been sub-par, to say the least, with my divorce and the loss of my step dad and best friend so I think I'm long overdue for one kickass awesome year.

Over the past week I've been reflecting on this past year and the things I've learned. I'm happy with the many positive changes this year has brought me, not least of all my beautiful son. I've had a few friends come and go this year, but it has taught me who my true friends are.  Although a few people I thought would always be there left me sorely disappointed, I was also pleasantly surprised by a few certain people who stood by my side through all of my ups and downs. I will be forever grateful to THOSE friends. This year has been a huge lesson in patience. When I decided to regain control of my life and start my own businesses,  I never envisioned it being such a process. I've learned to accept that not everything comes fast and easy, and sometimes things worth waiting for take time. Sometimes it's okay to slow down and enjoy life instead of racing through it on a mission to get to the top. My 9 months of pregnancy and 42 hour labor were also a lesson in patience, ha ha! This year also taught me (once again) that life is full of surprises. At the beginning of 2011, I never would have imagined I would end up back in NY with a baby. But I've learned to take things in stride and I feel like I am more prepared for whatever life throws at me now. 2011 was also a very humbling year. As someone who was successful at a very young age and bought a home at the age of 18, I had a tendency to get on my "high horse" sometimes. But going from living in my own home back to staying with one of my parents (albeit temporary)and starting completely over has had a way of putting me in my place. I've learned that that sometimes it's okay to put your pride aside and accept help from others when they offer it. This year has been a year of moving on. I've learned to deal with the losses I've had over the past 3 years in a more productive way. I've moved forward with my life with the memory of my step dad and best friend close to my heart. And most importantly, I've learned to love someone more than myself again. From the moment I decided to have Dominic, his needs became more important than my own and I knew I would love him more than anything else in the world. Having him was definitely the highlight of my year (and my life thus far). All things considered, I guess 2011 wasn't such a horrible year after all.

I suppose most people see the new year as an opportunity to make positive changes and get a fresh start and I'm no different. I think of all the progress that was made in 2011 and I'm excited to see where this next year will take me. My plan is to become the best mommy (and daddy) I can be this year. I'm all Dominic has and I need to set a good example. This year I'm going to get out of NY (and likely back to Salt Lake City) to begin the next chapter in my life. I'm going to live on my own again so that I can begin to feel like a functional adult once again. I'm going to start working on a plan to buy another house for me and Dominic. This year I'm going to expand my businesses and increase profits. My goal is to hire a few full time employees for each business and have interns each semester. I want to have clients in every state for my marketing firm by the end of the year. And my goal for TT's Attic is to roll out my new and improved top secret idea by June, and to truly start to make a difference with the 20% donations I do each month. My goal is to make a difference in at least one persons life this year, through charity events, volunteering and maybe even some motivational speaking. I've come to believe it is my life's mission to make a difference. I think my life experiences give me the tools necessary to help others and I don't want that to go to waste. I want to go to Ireland this year to Whitepark Bay so I can see the beautiful place my best friend always talked about. I want to spend less time working and more time with my friends and family this year. My goal for the year is to work smarter, not harder. I know I can accomplish these things with the right attitude and determination. It won't be easy but I've always liked a challenge. Oh and I want to make my first million by the time I turn 25 in September, ha ha! Okay that one might be a bit far fetched, but who says I can't try? :) “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

A big thank you to both of my parents for being so supportive and helpful to me this year. I don't know how I would have done it all without you guys. And an equally big thank you to those friends who have been there for me through this crazy year (you know who you are). I love you guys so much and people like you give me hope for everyone else.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year! Bring it on 2012 - I'm gonna make you my bitch!!! ;)

Oh Boy!

6 more weeks, 6 more weeks, 6 more weeks! Yeah, that's not excitement or anything. Maybe just a little. Not gonna lie, the closer it gets and the more I sit and actually contemplate having a child of my own, the more I start to get nervous. Everyone has said it's a life changing moment and you'll never understand it until you experience it. I think about how much my life has changed already, and I can't even fathom the way I'm going to feel when I see Dominic for the first time. The reality is setting in more and more each day, and it's making me anxious. In a good way, but anxious nonetheless. With such a smooth pregnancy thus far, it's easy to assume that being a parent will be just as easy. But I know it won't be. Good thing I'm a fast learner and I'm more than ready for a challenge. Doctor says I've got a very active, healthy baby growing inside me so I have a feeling I'm going to have my hands full. Bring it on baby! “Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.”

Things are still coming together quite nicely with both of my businesses, TT's Attic and The Alpha Omega Solution. When I first started my businesses I had no idea that being a business owner could be so time consuming and stressful at times. I had always been successful in my previous jobs as a stock broker and mortgage broker. I would start working for a company, figure out how things worked and quickly move up the ladder, often surpassing even my own expectations. But starting your own business is a COMPLETELY different ball game. There is no structure to figure out. There is no ladder to climb. And there are no asses to kiss. Because you create the structure, you build the ladder and it's your ass you want people to be kissing.  When I have days where progress seems slow I remind myself that it's the small victories that matter and that will eventually get me to my goals. If I've come this far and learned so much in less than a years time, I can only imagine the great things in store for the future. At this point I can feel the pieces slowly moving together everyday. I'm sure I'll make more mistakes and get knocked down a few more times along the way, but trial and error is part of process. I'm no longer afraid of change. I will persevere.

 Eventually I will be moving The Baby Mama Chronicles to a different location. I resisted the urge earlier to register a domain and start building a website. I promised myself I would not take on any additional projects until I finish some of the ones I'm already working on, although it's very tempting. My vision is to have a custom Baby Mama Chronicles website with a logo, photo gallery and blog. Hopefully by the end of the year I'll have it up and running, as it will be a great way for everyone to view updates and pictures of Dominic all in one place. Just another one of my many ideas coming soon to an interweb near you. Stay tuned!

I've been missing my BFF, Talese, a lot lately. I have missed her everyday since she left us but some days are worse than others. Her absence has felt a lot more noticeable this past week or so. Sometimes it's hard to be friends with other people after having her in my life because most people just don't measure up. Some days I look at other people and get so disappointed at their poor character, poor decisions and overall lack of caring for other people.  But before I get too discouraged something always happens and I am reminded that there ARE still good people out there, even if they are rare. And I remember that even through all of her trials, Talese never got jaded or bitter. She kept right on loving more people and that's one of the things I loved most about her. She inspires me everyday to keep moving forward and to keep loving people even if they hurt me. Because when you find those rare people like her it makes putting up with all the other ones completely worth it!

Happy Birthday to Me!

It's my birthday, it's my birthday - woo hoo! Actually this is the first birthday I can ever remember not celebrating the entire month, or at least week.  Last year I spent the day shopping, having lunch and drinks with friends and ending the night with some ever memorable karaoke, (I've posted a picture from last year's festivities). This year it just doesn't seem like I have enough time to set aside a whole week for celebrations. I have more important things to focus on - baby, work, upcoming non-profit events, etc. Regardless of my birthday plans or lack thereof, I can't believe I'm 24 already. It seems like just yesterday I was turning 18. Next year I'll be a quarter century old, man that sounds scary! Guess this year I'll just settle for an evening at home with family and cake, and possibly a girls night this Saturday after my baby shower. Maybe birthdays are overrated after all.

Less than 10 weeks left to go until Dominic makes his debut! I can't believe how fast time is flying by. I still feel great, and I've yet to wear maternity clothes. I'm still wearing my normal clothing, although my jeans are now held together by a hair tie. Physically, my only complaint would be the occasional insomnia. Other than that, I'm still carrying on my life as usual - working away, exercising before bed, going out and doing things when I feel like it. The only notable difference over the past couple weeks is the mood swings. This has been a relatively problem free pregnancy, but I did get moody for about 4-5 weeks during the first trimester and I think it's happening again. I've been getting frustrated and annoyed more easily than usual these days. In fact, the only thing that hasn't annoyed me over the past couple weeks is Dominic. Feeling him move or kick always brings a smile to my face no matter what kind of mood I'm in. Here's to hoping everyone else can put up with my grumpy ass over the next 10 weeks without locking me in a cage!

Still making progress by leaps and bounds for both businesses. Not quite where I want or need to be just yet, but everyday I see notable changes that keep me moving forward.  I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is better than where I was 3 months ago! I've started looking more seriously into moving to San Diego. My goal is to move out of NY by spring, so now is as good a time as any to start checking out apartments and office space. At the very least, my search has given me an idea of what's out there and gives me something to look forward to. I'm excited to see where my little man and I will be in 6 months! "Success doesn't come to you. You go to it."

Hello September!

Wow, I can't believe how fast the summer flew by. But for once, I'm actually looking forward to fall and even winter. Call me crazy, but I think it mostly has to do with my increasing excitement about meeting Dominic. He's getting SO big and his kicks/movements have become much more pronounced in the last couple weeks. We had our 28 week checkup yesterday and they said everything still looks/sounds great! Lets just hope Dominic turns into a head down position within the coming weeks, as he is laying sideways right now. It's still hard to imagine that in the coming months I'll be holding a child of my own. Time to get the last items on my "to do" list done so I'm not stressing out when the time comes to deliver Dominic. The chair I was planning to reupholster doesn't fit in the room with his other baby furniture. I guess for now I'll leave it in the garage and hopefully when we move in the spring, I can find a place with a bigger nursery for him.

Tonight I'm volunteering at the Susan G. Komen "For the Cure" breast cancer awareness booth at the NY state fair for 4 hours. Hopefully I'll be able to meet and network with some other great people! If you're going to the fair tonight stop on by and say hello from 6 to 10 PM.

My birthday is also this month, on September 20th. I can't believe I'm going to be 24 already. I feel so damn old! Can't I just stay this age forever? Getting old scares me. Ah well, you're as young as you feel I suppose and right now I feel fantastic! I think perhaps a trip to the casino is in order for my birthday festivities. It won't be quite the same without the cigars and Jack Daniels, but I'll take it. Oh how I love me some craps and blackjack...

My week "off" was relatively insightful. I came up with some great ideas for the businesses on top of the few things I already had in the works. It's going to take time but I know there's tons of potential. My biggest problem is I really really need help. Even if I didn't sleep at all ever, there aren't enough hours in the day for me to physically do everything that needs to be done. Time to start searching more seriously for some employees, freelancers and even investors. Hopefully by getting out and socializing a bit more, I will meet people who might be able to help in one way or another. Because half the battle with any business is knowing the right people. I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go in reaching my goals but what I do know is I'm making progress everyday, I'm still not giving up, these businesses are going to be HUGE and no one is going to see me coming! “All progress occurs because people dare to be different.”