Ms. Feisty Is Back!

I really wish I had more time to post regularly on here. If I wasn't working until 1 AM every day I would be all over it. I realize most people have absolutely no idea what I do on a daily basis so I figured I would elaborate. Now of course it depends on the day, but a "typical" day consists of; managing my businesses and clients social media pages, optimizing my web sites for SEO, working on building up my sales teams, managing my interns, revising my training process, promoting my upcoming fashion show/fundraiser, writing press releases, doing e-mail marketing, researching/buying new inventory, and working on new designs for the boutique, just to name a few. It makes me cringe every time people ask me when I'm going to "start looking for a job". Yes, there are actually ignorant people out there who assume I do nothing just because THEY don't understand what I do. No, I'm not sitting home in my pajamas watching TV all day. No, I'm not trying to do a "get rich quick scheme." Yes, I run two legitimate businesses. Yes, I work 8 - 12 hours on an average day. Yes, I do make money. And yes, both of my businesses are absolutely still works in progress with a lot of room left to grow. Just thought I would clear that up for a few folks. Hopefully getting that off my chest will ward off an impending meltdown next time someone makes the assumption that because I am "self employed" that means I am "unemployed". I am in fact very much employed, thank you very much.

It's been a long time coming but the feisty Blair everyone knows and loves is back. Watch out world! I've said it before and I'll say it again, my motto for 2012 is "Go big or go home!" I've got some great things in progress, and I just can't wait to prove a few people wrong once they come to fruition. Those of you who doubt me only motivate me more so, by all means,  keep the condescension coming. Not sure where the sudden pent up aggression has come from, but I like it. I think it's just what I needed to light a fire under my ass (in case I wasn't motivated enough already). I refuse to accept anything less than the best from this point forward. Word to the wise - I won't forgot those of you who believed in me or those of you who tried to bring me down. End of story. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but true friends will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

On another note, Dominic has gone through a sudden "growth spurt" for lack of better terminology. He can hold his head up quite well, he can roll from his belly to his back, he can prop himself up on his elbows, he can hold a rattle, he can make the "g" and "b" sounds, and follow a voice when someone enters a room. My kid is a genius, that's all there is to it. And he just keeps getting cuter everyday. His new favorite thing is batting his eyelashes at me. It amazes me how I love him more every single second I'm with him. He truly is the best part of my day every single day. It's difficult for me to fathom how such an amazing, perfect, sweet little person came from such a complete and utter ignoramus of a sperm donor (see previous paragraph about sudden pent up aggression). I know this much - Dominic is going to by 100 times the man Steve is (yeah the cat's out of the bag, baby daddy's name is Steve). I'm breaking the "dead beat dad" cycle or I'll die trying.

My Latest Epiphany...

*Sigh* It's about damn time I had a few free minutes to post. What's new here? Lets see, loving my little mini-me more everyday, getting myself psyched up to jump in a freezing ass river next week for charity, and working like a madwoman 24/7. I've become such a proud mama. I know I'm biased and everyone thinks their kid is the cutest/smartest, but Dominic seriously is! I've been reading up on different milestones for newborn babies, and he's ahead of the game by 1-2 months on some of them. He already smiles, laughs, coos, kicks his feet and reaches for things. It's amazing how much personality he has for only 6 weeks old. Oh and did I mention he's absolutely beautiful? Future president in the making!

Aside from adoring my little protege, I've been spending some time thinking about life, success, etc. I've certainly taken my fair share of risks, career and otherwise. But I've come to realize that in some ways I'm subconsciously standing in the way of my own success. I have a tendency to over analyze and over plan things, especially where it concerns business. This past year I've spent building solid foundations for my businesses and planning for the future. But now it's time to stop planning and start doing. Less looking, more leaping. I've learned that no matter how much I plan I'll never please 100% of my customers and sometimes I'm still going to fail. I'm learning to be ok with that. If some of my business ideas fail, I'll brush myself off and move to the next ones. But if I don't start at least attempting some of these ideas, I'll always have two small businesses, when I could have two huge amazing businesses. Time to go big or go home."You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

I've also noticed that in some ways I may be a little afraid of taking things to the next level and becoming more successful. Again, this is something I didn't realize until I really sat and thought about it. Once business is taken to the next level, I'll have just about anything I could want or ask for. Business and financial success. The most perfect baby in the world. Great friends and family. Only one thing missing. One thing that I rarely talk about (or think about for that matter). Romance. Love. Whatever you sappy people want to call it. So why don't I ever talk about it? For one, it's fairly non existent in my life these days. Second, I don't have time with baby and work occupying all my time. And lastly, it scares the shit out of me. Truth be told, I've been enamored with someone for quite some time and he's the only who doesn't know it. I could make a million excuses as to why I haven't pursued it, including the fact that I'm currently 2500 miles away, but it would be just that - an excuse. Perhaps it's time to put on my big girl panties and stop being such a wuss. On second thought, I think I'll start by taking more business risks and see how that goes first. And that's all I'm going to say about that!

"It's amazing the things you can accomplish when you get out of your own way."

Good Riddance 2011

Wow! I can't believe how fast 2011 has flown by. What a crazy up and down year it has been. It's amazing to think of all the changes I've made in my life in just 12 short months. While I hesitate to say 2011 was a "bad" year, I certainly hope 2012 will be a better year. The last three years have been sub-par, to say the least, with my divorce and the loss of my step dad and best friend so I think I'm long overdue for one kickass awesome year.

Over the past week I've been reflecting on this past year and the things I've learned. I'm happy with the many positive changes this year has brought me, not least of all my beautiful son. I've had a few friends come and go this year, but it has taught me who my true friends are.  Although a few people I thought would always be there left me sorely disappointed, I was also pleasantly surprised by a few certain people who stood by my side through all of my ups and downs. I will be forever grateful to THOSE friends. This year has been a huge lesson in patience. When I decided to regain control of my life and start my own businesses,  I never envisioned it being such a process. I've learned to accept that not everything comes fast and easy, and sometimes things worth waiting for take time. Sometimes it's okay to slow down and enjoy life instead of racing through it on a mission to get to the top. My 9 months of pregnancy and 42 hour labor were also a lesson in patience, ha ha! This year also taught me (once again) that life is full of surprises. At the beginning of 2011, I never would have imagined I would end up back in NY with a baby. But I've learned to take things in stride and I feel like I am more prepared for whatever life throws at me now. 2011 was also a very humbling year. As someone who was successful at a very young age and bought a home at the age of 18, I had a tendency to get on my "high horse" sometimes. But going from living in my own home back to staying with one of my parents (albeit temporary)and starting completely over has had a way of putting me in my place. I've learned that that sometimes it's okay to put your pride aside and accept help from others when they offer it. This year has been a year of moving on. I've learned to deal with the losses I've had over the past 3 years in a more productive way. I've moved forward with my life with the memory of my step dad and best friend close to my heart. And most importantly, I've learned to love someone more than myself again. From the moment I decided to have Dominic, his needs became more important than my own and I knew I would love him more than anything else in the world. Having him was definitely the highlight of my year (and my life thus far). All things considered, I guess 2011 wasn't such a horrible year after all.

I suppose most people see the new year as an opportunity to make positive changes and get a fresh start and I'm no different. I think of all the progress that was made in 2011 and I'm excited to see where this next year will take me. My plan is to become the best mommy (and daddy) I can be this year. I'm all Dominic has and I need to set a good example. This year I'm going to get out of NY (and likely back to Salt Lake City) to begin the next chapter in my life. I'm going to live on my own again so that I can begin to feel like a functional adult once again. I'm going to start working on a plan to buy another house for me and Dominic. This year I'm going to expand my businesses and increase profits. My goal is to hire a few full time employees for each business and have interns each semester. I want to have clients in every state for my marketing firm by the end of the year. And my goal for TT's Attic is to roll out my new and improved top secret idea by June, and to truly start to make a difference with the 20% donations I do each month. My goal is to make a difference in at least one persons life this year, through charity events, volunteering and maybe even some motivational speaking. I've come to believe it is my life's mission to make a difference. I think my life experiences give me the tools necessary to help others and I don't want that to go to waste. I want to go to Ireland this year to Whitepark Bay so I can see the beautiful place my best friend always talked about. I want to spend less time working and more time with my friends and family this year. My goal for the year is to work smarter, not harder. I know I can accomplish these things with the right attitude and determination. It won't be easy but I've always liked a challenge. Oh and I want to make my first million by the time I turn 25 in September, ha ha! Okay that one might be a bit far fetched, but who says I can't try? :) “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

A big thank you to both of my parents for being so supportive and helpful to me this year. I don't know how I would have done it all without you guys. And an equally big thank you to those friends who have been there for me through this crazy year (you know who you are). I love you guys so much and people like you give me hope for everyone else.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year! Bring it on 2012 - I'm gonna make you my bitch!!! ;)

All I Need Is Just A Little Patience...

My apologies to anyone who texted or sent me messages yesterday - I wasn't trying to be rude or ignore anyone, but I was at doctors appointments from 7 AM until after 5 PM. I was less than impressed with the perinatal center. My appointment took about 3 hours longer than it should have, the staff was less than friendly and the place itself looked really shabby. At least the doctor was thorough. After a long, stressful day I was cranky and frustrated. And by the time I got home I was beyond tired and hungry and didn't feel like talking to anyone.

So after a series of ultrasounds, and a biophysical markup on Dominic the perinatal specialist was unable to find any other red flags or problems. His heart looks good, he's moving a lot, taking practice breaths, growing like a weed and all of his other organs look good! So what does that mean? Basically they don't know what's causing the swelling on the brain. They said most often when this is the only problem (as it is in this case) it will resolve itself after birth without any negative effects on the baby. However, there are some things they can't test for until he's born so they will continue to monitor him for the first year or two to make sure the swelling doesn't get worse and there aren't any other issues. So the appointment went as well as it could have - huge sigh of relief there. Still keeping my fingers crossed that he's born safe and healthy, but at least I'm no longer losing sleep over the issue. They see no reason to induce me early at this point, so now I just wait....and NOT very patiently, might I add...for my little man to arrive! I'm full term now so the big day could come anytime now :)

Haven't posted about business in awhile but I've been making some serious progress. As far as the marketing firm goes, everything is in place for business to take off, except two things. I still need salespeople and I need to create a more effective and user-friendly training program. Should be fairly easy to resolve those issues. On top of the changes I made to make our services more custom and personalized, I've been doing a lot of work with start up companies. It creates more work for me, but it would be amazing PR for the company if even one of the start ups takes off and we are credited as their marketing/advertising firm. As far as the boutique goes, we're getting bigger everyday! I've have two models who have modeled and promoted for me. I have new inventory. I've found a few new charities to support. And I've been networking like crazy. I'm glad I didn't launch the "new and improved" boutique in October as I had originally planned. By all means, I still plan on launching it. But I think doing it too soon would be business suicide. The more happy customers I have when I launch, the more my idea will take off. I would love to see my "competition" try and steal or recreate this idea once I launch it. To do so would create an even bigger mockery of their already failing business. It's a pretty pathetic state of affairs for their business when I've had multiple people approach me and ask me if this boutique (which shall not be named) has been stealing my ideas. Yeah, it's that obvious. But I guess that's bound to happen when you have good ideas, drive and leadership ability. I'm starting to find the whole thing flattering. "Integrity is the most valuable quality of leadership. Always keep your word."

I can't wait to see what the next year brings for me and Dominic. I'm starting to see some of my goals come to fruition. And I've come to realize who and what is important in my life. I know WHAT I'm going to be doing, but I still don't know where yet. Boston and San Diego are still topping my list of places that would be great for business and education for Dominic.  But I'm keeping my options open to ALL possibilities at this point. All I need now is my little man and I'll be ready to take over the world...

Oh Boy!

6 more weeks, 6 more weeks, 6 more weeks! Yeah, that's not excitement or anything. Maybe just a little. Not gonna lie, the closer it gets and the more I sit and actually contemplate having a child of my own, the more I start to get nervous. Everyone has said it's a life changing moment and you'll never understand it until you experience it. I think about how much my life has changed already, and I can't even fathom the way I'm going to feel when I see Dominic for the first time. The reality is setting in more and more each day, and it's making me anxious. In a good way, but anxious nonetheless. With such a smooth pregnancy thus far, it's easy to assume that being a parent will be just as easy. But I know it won't be. Good thing I'm a fast learner and I'm more than ready for a challenge. Doctor says I've got a very active, healthy baby growing inside me so I have a feeling I'm going to have my hands full. Bring it on baby! “Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.”

Things are still coming together quite nicely with both of my businesses, TT's Attic and The Alpha Omega Solution. When I first started my businesses I had no idea that being a business owner could be so time consuming and stressful at times. I had always been successful in my previous jobs as a stock broker and mortgage broker. I would start working for a company, figure out how things worked and quickly move up the ladder, often surpassing even my own expectations. But starting your own business is a COMPLETELY different ball game. There is no structure to figure out. There is no ladder to climb. And there are no asses to kiss. Because you create the structure, you build the ladder and it's your ass you want people to be kissing.  When I have days where progress seems slow I remind myself that it's the small victories that matter and that will eventually get me to my goals. If I've come this far and learned so much in less than a years time, I can only imagine the great things in store for the future. At this point I can feel the pieces slowly moving together everyday. I'm sure I'll make more mistakes and get knocked down a few more times along the way, but trial and error is part of process. I'm no longer afraid of change. I will persevere.

 Eventually I will be moving The Baby Mama Chronicles to a different location. I resisted the urge earlier to register a domain and start building a website. I promised myself I would not take on any additional projects until I finish some of the ones I'm already working on, although it's very tempting. My vision is to have a custom Baby Mama Chronicles website with a logo, photo gallery and blog. Hopefully by the end of the year I'll have it up and running, as it will be a great way for everyone to view updates and pictures of Dominic all in one place. Just another one of my many ideas coming soon to an interweb near you. Stay tuned!

I've been missing my BFF, Talese, a lot lately. I have missed her everyday since she left us but some days are worse than others. Her absence has felt a lot more noticeable this past week or so. Sometimes it's hard to be friends with other people after having her in my life because most people just don't measure up. Some days I look at other people and get so disappointed at their poor character, poor decisions and overall lack of caring for other people.  But before I get too discouraged something always happens and I am reminded that there ARE still good people out there, even if they are rare. And I remember that even through all of her trials, Talese never got jaded or bitter. She kept right on loving more people and that's one of the things I loved most about her. She inspires me everyday to keep moving forward and to keep loving people even if they hurt me. Because when you find those rare people like her it makes putting up with all the other ones completely worth it!

Cold Weather Blues...

Happy October! I must say, it took every ounce of enthusiasm I had to feign excitement in that statement. I'm actually a really big fan of Halloween season, I've just been feeling lethargic and out of it the last few days. It probably doesn't help that I think I'm coming down with something - my throat hurts, body aches and I've been sneezing like crazy. Business is still making progress like crazy but I can't help and get a little discouraged every now and then. Although my freelancers have helped tremendously  I still have way too much to do and never enough time. I wish I could just clone myself about 5 times. Then things would get done. The right way! If I only had one thing to focus on like most normal people I might be ok, but per usual I take on as many projects as possible and often find myself spread too thin - two businesses, getting ready for baby, trying to plan for upcoming charity and fundraising events, the list goes on. I just keep reminding myself of the light at the end of the tunnel. Someday (hopefully sooner than later) when my businesses are uber-successful and I'm making a difference in the world with my little protege by my side, everything will have been worth it!

It's really disheartening to me that out of ALL the people I know (and I know quite a few) only 5 have found it in their heart to either donate or volunteer their time for this year's Out of the Darkness walk. Now, before I get inundated with excuses as to why YOU can't help, I am fully aware that some people have legitimate reasons for not participating. If that's the case, you're off the hook. But if you just read the last few sentences and still have a guilty conscience, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Donate $5. Hell, donate 3 hours of your time this upcoming Saturday October 8th for a good cause. It won't kill you. In fact, it might save someone else! Donate here or join team "There Is Always Hope". A big thank you to those of you who have donated or are planning to join me for this very important event! “Many small people, in many small places, do many small things, that can alter the face of the world.”

On a more positive note, I received the cutest box full of handmade baby blankets, pillows, and other various items from my younger step brother and sister last week. They are in Salt Lake City and I miss them a lot! It made me smile to know they were thinking of me and Dominic and took the time to make so many cute (and interesting) things. I think the thing that cracked me up the most was the Batman cape my little sis made - she's got the right idea, my kid is obviously going to be a super hero! Thanks Mikey and Sarah! Also wanted to give a big thanks to one of my good friends, Krista, for buying me a prenatal massage gift certificate. It's much needed and I can't wait to use it. When everything else is going wrong, it's nice to know there are still some good people in my life that I can count on.

He's a Growing Machine

Maybe I'm just crazy, but it feels like my child has doubled in size and strength over the last week. What were once small subtle movements at random intervals throughout the day, are now powerful kicks and punches all day (and night) long. He just loves to kick me in the ribs. I can only imagine what these movements are going to feel like as he continues to grow. With just over 11 weeks left, this shit is about to get real!

I took the advice of a few friends and signed up for some "mommy" meetup groups last week. It will give me a chance to socialize with other people while I'm here, and bring Dominic on little play dates once he's born. How exciting! I plan on meeting with the group coordinator next week, and hopefully it will be just what I was looking for.

I'm making some progress on my "to do" list. I finished the book about Talese that I wanted to make for Dominic, now I just need to finish working on the book about my step dad Steve. And I still need to schedule the hospital tour, my prenatal yoga classes and send out my baby shower invites. But I'm making progress so that's a plus. One day at a time...

I've finally given in and decided to hire some contractors to do some "busy work" aka menial tasks for me. If only I had enough faith in other people to allow anyone to do some of my more time consuming, difficult tasks I'd be golden. I suppose I'll evaluate how the contractors do with the easy tasks and take it from there. It's a step forward towards achieving my ever-increasing goals at least. I may not go about business (or anything in my life) the conventional way, but I always end up getting what I want and that's what matters. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm not going anywhere and success is my ONLY option! "Unless you're willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won't happen."

I'm Losing It...

It dawned on me the other day that I'm completely losing it...My edge that is. As someone who is typically known for being sarcastic, fun and edgy I feel like I have become completely boring over the past several months. I understand some of that is to be expected with all the changes going on in my life right now. Preparing for Dominic's arrival takes up a great deal of time and it seems the rest of my time is spent on business these days. Don't get me wrong, I'm not complaining about the changes in my life and I wouldn't change a thing if given the chance. But, I do need to find a way to not completely lose myself in the process. Hell, I even have to force myself to socialize these days which is completely unlike me. I'm hoping some of it is just pregnancy induced weirdness that will subside after Dominic makes his debut. I think my boringness has even started to effect business. All the pieces are in place for both businesses to be successful, but there's something missing. I suspect it's something simple and obvious that I'm completely overlooking because I have such a one-track mind right now. I've decided to take this week "off" from my normal routine and do something different. I'm going to step outside my comfort zone a little, force myself to socialize and re-train myself in both businesses. Here's to hoping my little experiment brings a little of the old Blair back and also sheds some light on what I'm missing. "Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring." - Marilyn Monroe

Speaking of excitement, I put together Dominic's swing and bouncer today. Can I get a "hell yeah" for being able to follow instructions and use a screw driver? The only thing that's missing now is an adorable little baby! Once I put them together it dawned on me that his "Snugabunny" swing and bouncer will not match his red and black pirate themed nursery. This should have been obvious long ago but for some reason I never stopped to consider it. I'm completely anal about things matching in his nursery so I'm not sure what to do. I suppose the bouncer will probably be downstairs most of the time once he arrives, but that still leaves a mismatched swing in the room. Should I change his nursery theme yet again or just let it go? I really don't want to change the nursery theme because I think the pirate theme will match his personality. Or what I'm imagining his personality to be, I should say. Hmm, decisions decisions...