
Dominic has his two month checkup at the doctors in the morning. I'm going to have them take a second look at his belly - I'm still worried because it just looks abnormally big to me. I'm probably just being paranoid, but I need to know for sure or it will drive me nuts. I'm also super nervous because they want to give him all his vaccinations tomorrow. I posted earlier this summer about my concerns regarding certain vaccines. Well those concerns haven't changed, but unfortunately NY is one of those states that doesn't give you much choice concerning immunizations. I talked to several pediatricians and the general consensus was that vaccines weren't optional. Don't get me wrong - I was ok with most of them, but there are a few that I think are unnecessary. Oh well, guess he's getting them whether I approve or not. It will be a lesson in self control to not stress about it all weekend.
Business has gone crazy all the sudden, which is good and bad. Most days I run around like a chicken with it's head cut off, trying to manage work and baby and yet I still end the day with stuff left on my to-do list. I'm super nervous about my upcoming events - I know I can pull them off, the interns are extremely helpful and all the parts are there, it's just a matter of pushing forward and finding a way around any issues that should arise. I think most of my stress stems from the fact that I'm no longer just counting on myself, but I have several other people counting on me to be successful as well - my interns, the people who are coming to my events, the businesses who sponsor my events and so on. But, I can't let my fear of failure get in the way. I'd rather fail and try it again a different way, than not try at all and never know what the outcome could have been. I'm thankful for all the people who still believe in me after the last two crazy years. I know there are quite a few people who doubt me or think that I've lost my mind. After I quit my stock broker job at E*Trade and went rogue, I feel like some people started to regard me as a "has been". But I assure you, I haven't just been sitting here thinking about the life I used to have. I've been carefully planning and putting into action the life I'd like to have. But, alas, things like this take time and don't happen overnight. At least I'm finally starting to see some results. I feel more positive about this year than I've felt about anything in a long time. "I am not a has-been. I am a will be."

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