I Don't Go Away That Easily... ;)

Geez, where to start? I haven't made a "baby mama" blog post since April if I remember correctly. What a crazy six months it's been. New business, a couple kickass business trips, a hilarious, sweet, funny, gorgeous 10 month old baby and a completely new outlook on life later and...here I am :) So first things first...

 The little man...

Words can't describe him. To put it simply, he is a handful, a bucket of laughs and the best thing that ever happened to me all rolled into one. The older he gets, the more he looks like me (or so I'm told). Lucky for him, his mama's a looker. As far as advancements go, Dominic now has two bottom teeth, can stand on his own (for about 4 months now), takes steps when he feels like it, eats real human food, says a variety of "human" words (including "ho ho ho") and kisses me when he feels like being nice. That sweet boy is the one thing that gets me up every morning and keeps me going on the toughest days. He makes me proud daily, makes me smile and at times, makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs. He's everything I never knew I wanted but couldn't live without..... But that's enough being philosophical and emotional for this girl. Bottom line, I'm such a proud mama. I continually get told what a beautiful and smart baby I have. I know I might be biased, but I've yet to see another kid his age that even comes close to comparing in the looks or brains department. And the other day, he pulled a super sweet karate move when he leaned out of his playhouse window, dove forward, did a front roll Jackie Chan style and started crawling across his playroom. I've never been more proud... or pissed that I didn't have a camera. He's a little ninja in the making. 

Business... 

 Things have come a long way since April! I've managed to triple the revenue for my marketing/PR business, the boutique has pretty much become non-existant (only temporarily) and my new business is taking me places I never thought possible. Over the past few months, I was able to spend time in Orlando, New York City and next stop, Las Vegas! I've been lucky enough to meet amazing likeminded people, reaffirm relationships with existing friends who mean the world to me and get closer to my goals everyday. Maybe things haven't happened exactly the way I planned or hoped for, but I wouldn't change a thing. "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans." My mom always used to tell me that, but it's only recently that I understood the significance. I don't think I would even want my life to turn out the way I had always planned. I see how things are now and where they are going and that is so much better than anything I ever could have imagined. Although, knowing a bunch of lawyer lingo would be super fun to throw into everyday conversation (yeah, I wanted to be a lawyer).

It's not easy bouncing back from some of the setbacks I've faced over the past 2 years, but excuses truly are for the weak. My comeback is still a work in progress, but I WILL do whatever it takes to get there. In order to be successful you have to want success more than you want to breath. Anything less is weak and lazy. You don't have to agree with me - many people don't - but truly I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. I only have room in my life for likeminded, positive and ambitious people. "You become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. CHOOSE WISELY!" :) :) I can't stress that enough. And that's all I have to say about that.

 My Personal Life...

 So I walked into a bar with a male stripper who wore tight pants and walked like a bunny rabbit and tried to read my palms. Kidding. Kinda...Anyway, personal life? Dating? Romance? These sound like foreign words I've never heard of. That's ok - who has time anyway? Not that there's anything wrong with dating, but taking care of Dominic and building my businesses happen to take precedence at the moment. Besides, I just suck at expressing my feelings to begin with. And the dirty, manipulative whores always seem to get the good guy anyway (yeah that was my bitter, 12 year old moment of the day). “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” Meh, maybe when I'm independently wealthy I'll worry myself with finding someone who is suitable and interesting. Although, I do need to start getting out more. Focusing on business 14 hours a day and having full length conversations with a 10 month old baby is enough to drive anyone crazy. Time to start working on that bucket list methinks... Skydiving anyone?

 Long story short...I really miss my friends and family in Utah. I never planned to be gone so long and I miss everyone dearly. Quite frankly I'm a little nervous as to what everyone will think of the changes I've made since I left. I guess there's only one way to find out... My best friend, Talese and my step dad, Steve have been a constant staple on my mind these days. The longer time passes, the more real things become and the more I miss them. I just wish I could have one more conversation. But wishing gets me nowhere. Hopefully soon I'll be able to spend more time on the causes that truly matter to me so maybe I can change other peoples lives for the better.

 Since I've been 12 years old, I've always been on the fast track to somewhere, I bought my house at 18, was a stock broker by 21, the list goes on- but on the fast track to where exactly? For the first time in my life I can honestly say, I DON'T know exactly what I want, I DON'T know where I want to go or WHO I want to be with. And that's ok. Kinda. I'm on a mission to find out and I may need to make some drastic changes in the process in order to get those answers. Expect some BIG changes to happen soon. Changes that aren't conventional, changes that some people might not like, but are exactly what I need :) Watch out world, because I'm not stopping until I find out what I want and get what I want. Until next time...

  "Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."