Hi everyone! Thanks for checking out my blog. As the intro stated, I'm Blair - a 23 year old business owner and single mama to be. I created the blog to give a little insight as to what it's like being an expectant mother. A single expectant mother. A busy, ambitious single expectant mother. I hope that some of you will, at the very least, be able to relate the experiences I share here. And I'm looking forward to hearing stories from other women such as myself. But first, lets get everyone up to speed on how I got to where I am today...
In November/December of 2010, I started casually dating a guy we'll call SJ. He was close friends and co-workers with one of my best friends husbands, so I had seen him around a few times. My expectations of him and our relationship weren't high from the get-go because I didn't think we had much in common. Nevertheless, I thought he would be someone fun to hang out with and so began the saga. After hanging out a couple times and enjoying his company, I realized I liked spending time with him and that we had more in common than I had anticipated. SJ appeared to be intelligent, have a good sense of humor and seemed to be a great dad to his 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Over the course of a few months, we began talking everyday, going to events together and getting closer. We weren't dating exclusively but it was clear that both of us were quite fond of one another. We shared similar values, talked about life, had fun together, laughed together and on one occassion even cried together. Yep, things were going great...And then, in early April I found out I was expecting and that the baby was due November 24, 2011. It came as a huge shock because I had been on birth control for over two years. When I initially told SJ, he was relatively calm and collected but it was clear he would rather not have a child. After several days of consideration, I told him I would be keeping the child and that I didn't expect anything from him but to be there for the baby. I wasn't asking anything of him financially, I wasn't trying to trap him into a relationship, I just wanted our baby to know his father. At first, he handled the news well. But over the course of a couple weeks, the person I thought I knew completely disappeared. He decided that it was in his (and somehow the child's) best interest if he was not around and was allowed to sign over all rights. I was shocked. Although the situation wasn't planned or ideal for either of us, I was baffled at how he could be such a good dad to one child and a deadbeat to another. Especially considering he grew up without a dad and had mentioned on several occassions how much contempt he had for his father for not being around. I thought perhaps he was just in shock and over time he might come around....
Sadly, that was not the case. For about a month I continued to send him doctors updates on the baby until one day a few weeks ago things took a turn for the worse. As if being an absentee father wasn't enough, he began making cruel remarks towards me. This was the point when I decided that indeed he was right and that his being in our child's life would not be best for the child. He's not the type of influence I want for my child. And if he's not in 100% then he's not in at all. Once my bundle of joy arrives in November, we will be honoring his wish and allowing him to sign over all rights. "Anyone can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad"
To be continued....
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