My Rockstar's First Year...

Happy happy birthday to my little baby genius! Man, where does the time go? Seems like just yesterday I was headed to the hospital to embark on my 42 hour long labor. I never in my wildest dreams could have imagined such a beautiful, smart, funny boy with such a big personality. I'm obviously biased, but he does more at a year old than many kids I've seen who are six months or more older than him. He's been walking since 10 months, standing on his own since 7 and a half months, and talking for a couple months now. His favorite words are "hi" and "uh oh". To say he's a character is a serious understatement!

I can't believe how much my life has changed in just a year's time. At times it's unbelievable. I never imagined I would be able to love and sacrifice for one little person so much. I've learned to be more patient and less selfish over the past year. Every now and then traces of the "old Blair" will emerge, but most of the time I don't even recognize the person I've become. But that's not a bad thing. Life is about becoming the best person you can be, right? I can't wait to see what the next year has in store for us.

In other news, I finally made it back to Utah! After a year and a half of putting it off, Hurricane Sandy had different plans for me and I took a little detour after my Vegas business trip. It was so great to see everyone and finally make it to see my best friend's grave.  Lets just say I'm no longer questioning where I want to move after I leave NY. Utah it is, my friends. That's the one place that always has been and always will be home. Truthfully, that's the first time I've felt like "me" since I left Utah, and I can't wait to get back. But, I've got a few more things in store for NY before that happens...


Business is booming! I can't express how much I love, love, love the new business, all the people I'm working with and everything about it. It's so refreshing to know that I can help change people's lives while bettering my own. And traveling to fun places every few month sure doesn't suck! Vegas was a whole new experience with a baby, but great to get away nonetheless. Who could complain about working while sipping wine under a palm tree? Not this girl. Next stop, San Antonio! Time to break out that cowboy hat...Giddy up! Little man is shaping up to be quite the traveler. 4 states and Niagara falls all by his first birthday - not too shabby.

So what's next? Well, aside from building my empire... Still working on getting back in shape, eating healthier, and focusing on personal development.  My biggest goal is to be the best example I can be for Dominic. I heard a quote on my last business trip that really resonated with me. "Children learn what they live, not what you tell them." Time to start being the person I want him to look up to. No excuses. After all, the days go slow but the years sure do go fast. Time to start being the change you want to see TODAY. There are seven days in a week, and not a single one of them is called "someday." ;) ;)

I Don't Go Away That Easily... ;)

Geez, where to start? I haven't made a "baby mama" blog post since April if I remember correctly. What a crazy six months it's been. New business, a couple kickass business trips, a hilarious, sweet, funny, gorgeous 10 month old baby and a completely new outlook on life later and...here I am :) So first things first...

 The little man...

Words can't describe him. To put it simply, he is a handful, a bucket of laughs and the best thing that ever happened to me all rolled into one. The older he gets, the more he looks like me (or so I'm told). Lucky for him, his mama's a looker. As far as advancements go, Dominic now has two bottom teeth, can stand on his own (for about 4 months now), takes steps when he feels like it, eats real human food, says a variety of "human" words (including "ho ho ho") and kisses me when he feels like being nice. That sweet boy is the one thing that gets me up every morning and keeps me going on the toughest days. He makes me proud daily, makes me smile and at times, makes me want to scream at the top of my lungs. He's everything I never knew I wanted but couldn't live without..... But that's enough being philosophical and emotional for this girl. Bottom line, I'm such a proud mama. I continually get told what a beautiful and smart baby I have. I know I might be biased, but I've yet to see another kid his age that even comes close to comparing in the looks or brains department. And the other day, he pulled a super sweet karate move when he leaned out of his playhouse window, dove forward, did a front roll Jackie Chan style and started crawling across his playroom. I've never been more proud... or pissed that I didn't have a camera. He's a little ninja in the making. 

Business... 

 Things have come a long way since April! I've managed to triple the revenue for my marketing/PR business, the boutique has pretty much become non-existant (only temporarily) and my new business is taking me places I never thought possible. Over the past few months, I was able to spend time in Orlando, New York City and next stop, Las Vegas! I've been lucky enough to meet amazing likeminded people, reaffirm relationships with existing friends who mean the world to me and get closer to my goals everyday. Maybe things haven't happened exactly the way I planned or hoped for, but I wouldn't change a thing. "Life is what happens when you're busy making plans." My mom always used to tell me that, but it's only recently that I understood the significance. I don't think I would even want my life to turn out the way I had always planned. I see how things are now and where they are going and that is so much better than anything I ever could have imagined. Although, knowing a bunch of lawyer lingo would be super fun to throw into everyday conversation (yeah, I wanted to be a lawyer).

It's not easy bouncing back from some of the setbacks I've faced over the past 2 years, but excuses truly are for the weak. My comeback is still a work in progress, but I WILL do whatever it takes to get there. In order to be successful you have to want success more than you want to breath. Anything less is weak and lazy. You don't have to agree with me - many people don't - but truly I don't give a shit what anyone else thinks. I only have room in my life for likeminded, positive and ambitious people. "You become the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. CHOOSE WISELY!" :) :) I can't stress that enough. And that's all I have to say about that.

 My Personal Life...

 So I walked into a bar with a male stripper who wore tight pants and walked like a bunny rabbit and tried to read my palms. Kidding. Kinda...Anyway, personal life? Dating? Romance? These sound like foreign words I've never heard of. That's ok - who has time anyway? Not that there's anything wrong with dating, but taking care of Dominic and building my businesses happen to take precedence at the moment. Besides, I just suck at expressing my feelings to begin with. And the dirty, manipulative whores always seem to get the good guy anyway (yeah that was my bitter, 12 year old moment of the day). “Never make someone a priority when all you are to them is an option.” Meh, maybe when I'm independently wealthy I'll worry myself with finding someone who is suitable and interesting. Although, I do need to start getting out more. Focusing on business 14 hours a day and having full length conversations with a 10 month old baby is enough to drive anyone crazy. Time to start working on that bucket list methinks... Skydiving anyone?

 Long story short...I really miss my friends and family in Utah. I never planned to be gone so long and I miss everyone dearly. Quite frankly I'm a little nervous as to what everyone will think of the changes I've made since I left. I guess there's only one way to find out... My best friend, Talese and my step dad, Steve have been a constant staple on my mind these days. The longer time passes, the more real things become and the more I miss them. I just wish I could have one more conversation. But wishing gets me nowhere. Hopefully soon I'll be able to spend more time on the causes that truly matter to me so maybe I can change other peoples lives for the better.

 Since I've been 12 years old, I've always been on the fast track to somewhere, I bought my house at 18, was a stock broker by 21, the list goes on- but on the fast track to where exactly? For the first time in my life I can honestly say, I DON'T know exactly what I want, I DON'T know where I want to go or WHO I want to be with. And that's ok. Kinda. I'm on a mission to find out and I may need to make some drastic changes in the process in order to get those answers. Expect some BIG changes to happen soon. Changes that aren't conventional, changes that some people might not like, but are exactly what I need :) Watch out world, because I'm not stopping until I find out what I want and get what I want. Until next time...

  "Often people attempt to live their lives backwards; they try to have more things, or more money, in order to do more of what they want, so they will be happier. The way it actually works is the reverse. You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want."

Back and Better Than Ever!

Just when I thought life couldn't get any busier...it did! But this busy is a good busy, a busy I could get used to. So I mentioned before about a new business I recently got involved in. Well I'm lovin' it. I never would have predicted getting involved in something like this but in this case the unexpected is definitely a good thing. I'm doing something I like and feel good about and something that can help people. Better yet, it's something I can cross-promote with some of my boutique events. What more can I ask for? I figured out what's been slowing me down all along. I've been tying myself down doing things I don't really care about. I love marketing, but I HATE selling marketing to other businesses. So I'm not doing it anymore. I'm keeping my current clients and taking referrals, but no more proactively finding new customers for the marketing biz. From this point forward I'm focusing on TT's Attic and the "new biz" (If you want to know more about it, you'll have to ask me because explaining it here would just be confusing). Things are definitely looking up. I FINALLY feel like I'm doing what I'm supposed to be doing. After all this time I've found the missing piece. And that makes working long hours so much more rewarding. Next stop, Orlando and Miami in July! Time to take the TT's Attic fashion show/fundraiser to a bigger and better venue. Watch out Southern Florida - here I come! Oh yeah, and I will be working that long overdue vacation in with that business trip too, damn it!

I don't mean to talk about work 24/7 but I really don't have much of a social life. But that's by choice, not due to lack of opportunities. No need for the pity party some people have tried to throw me. Pity doesn't exist in my vocabulary. And for the record, I have opportunities on a fairly regular basis to go out with friends or on dates, BUT I have an end goal in mind and I really don't want to get distracted. That and when I'm not working, I'd much rather spend time with my little man than out getting drunk or with random men who I may or may not end up liking anyway. If that sounds lame, well, it kinda is. But, I know the end result will be worth it when I can work less, travel more, spend more time with Dominic and spend more time with the friends I know I like spending time with. In the meantime, all work and no play makes Blair a force to be reckoned with! I'm movin' on up to bigger and better things so stay tuned cuz there's no slowing me down now...

What else? Dominic is getting so damn big. He'll be five months old next week - where has the time gone? He's my best little buddy and I'm so proud of him already. He's so smart and funny and has one of the best personalities I've ever seen on a child. I can't bring him anywhere without someone coming up to me and telling me how cute he is. I go out to eat and random people come to my table and tell me how cute he is. At Relay for Life a random girl came up to me and asked if she could take his picture. Talk about awkward, but flattering at the same time. I'm such a lucky mama. Call me selfish, but the older he gets, the more glad I am that I don't have to share him with anyone. At this point I don't think I could do it even if I had to. I never realized how hard it must be for parents who have to send their kids away to the other parent on the weekends. Turns out being a single mom was a total blessing in disguise (for me at least).

I've been thinking about Talese and my step dad Steve a lot lately. I miss them a lot more than usual these days. Perhaps being away from everything and everyone who reminds me of them has started to take a toll on me. That and, no matter how hard I try, I've been hard pressed to find friends or people in general who are as amazing as they were (with the exception of a very select few). It always amazes me how many people are perfectly okay with living lives of mediocrity. I don't mean that to be offensive, it' just the truth. I've learned to just consider myself fortunate to have had them in my life at all because some people are never lucky enough to have people like that in their life. If only more people would take a page from Steve and Talese's book, the world would truly be a better place. Love more, care more about others, forgive more, the whole nine yards...It's never too late to make a change and become a better person. Start today. Just sayin'.  "People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what’s bitter and move on."

This Is How We Do :)

Baby sleeping? Check. Jammies on? Check. Work done? Eh. Work halfway done? Ok, check. Guess that means I can take a break to make a blog post. Things are still looking up despite my child's recent transformation into a teething monster. I have two weeks left with my interns which I'm both happy and sad about. Happy because it's been a great learning experience and I've met some wonderful people with a lot of potential who I hope to keep in touch with. Sad because it's coming to an end and now it's time to reflect on all the progress that has (and hasn't) been made over the past 3 months. The fashion show was a success. I've made a ton of invaluable connections in this area over the past three months. And I've made some positive changes to the marketing firm which will free up some time and likely yield higher returns. On the downside, my signature t-shirt and perfume collections are still a work in progress. Designs are ready but finding a decent manufacturer has been a bit of a chore. Also finding a new web designer has been a task. After having two people unable to finish the project I assigned to them, I've become a wee bit frustrated. And most of all, I'm still in major need of help. Too much to do and not enough time. If only I trusted other people enough to find myself a business partner or two. Ah, well. Overall, not a bad 3 months. Making progress slowly but surely.

And yes, I joined a third business. I'm really excited about this one. No, it doesn't mean I'm giving up my other two businesses (not a chance). But I found a product and company I'm really excited about and a business opportunity I couldn't pass up and jumped on it. Not to mention, I get to work with a team of great people. I think I can really help people with this one. Somehow, with all things considered, it doesn't seem like work at all when you have a great product and great people on your side. If you're interested in finding out how you can become more healthy and potentially put more money in your pocket, talk to me. I won't try to sell you on anything, just educate you and let you make your own decisions :)

In other news, Relay for Life is coming up this Saturday. I was hoping for more of a chance to market the event and get more donations/team members, but it crept up so fast and with all the planning that went into the fashion show I haven't had much time. I created my team in memory of my step dad, Steve, who passed away in 2009. Not a day goes by that I don't think about him, miss him and wish that Dominic could meet him. With more events like this, maybe one day I'll make a difference. Please let me know before Saturday if you can spare a donation or would like to join my team - it would mean more to me than you can possibly imagine! "I'd love to change the world, but I don't know what to do..."


I still can't believe I have a 4 month old baby. It amazes me on a daily basis how much personality such a small child can have. I heard Dominic laugh out loud for the first time the other day - it was the cutest thing in the whole world! We took our first trip to the zoo last week and I couldn't believe how alert he was. He was so enthralled by the animals - he especially loved watching the monkeys and fish. I can't wait to take him to the beach this summer. It's little things like this that make me happy these days. One little smile from those chubby cheeks can turn my whole day around. My kid is such a rockstar!

Time For Me To Fly

*Sigh* Fashion show is over and I can finally breathe again! The event started out a bit rocky but ended up being an overall success. The hotel completely dropped the ball, forgot to build a runway, nearly had a music crisis, gave wrong directions to visitors and were rude to me on top of it all. Suffice it to say, I will never use them again for an event. But near meltdown aside, the rest of the day went off without a hitch. I met so many wonderful people, the models were great and the CNY Chapter of AFSP was so friendly and amazing. Overall I think the event was successful, was a great tribute to Talese and will only get better next time! I plan on making the HOPE Is In The Air an annual event and I plan on getting out and networking more while I'm here. I very much look forward to working with everyone again - it's people like THIS (motivated, ambitious & caring people) that can help me change the world. It's people like THIS that I'm going to surround myself with. And it's people like THIS who keep me positive when I'm having bad days. Another big thanks to everyone who contributed in making this the first of many great events. "Be the change you want to see in the world."

In other news, I'm getting involved in yet another business venture that I'm very excited about. Not ready to disclose all the details just yet, but I'm looking forward to working with a close friend and helping people change their lives in other ways I hadn't thought of before. Good things are happening!

I took Dominic to see the Easter Bunny today. He was a wee bit apprehensive about the whole thing. Soon as he got on the bunny's lap he threw up and then immediately started crying. Ah, the joys of having a (nearly) 4 month old. But in all seriousness, it was so damn cute. It's little things like this that make me happy on a daily basis. Even when things go wrong, it's impossible not to be happy being the proud mama of such a perfect baby. My little man is already a little flirt. He had a harem of women around him during the fashion show. What can I say? My kid is damn cute. And smart. And has a hell of a personality already! Can't imagine where he gets that from. He must be going through a growth spurt. I swear I just bought him new clothes about a month ago, and he's just about outgrown them already. Time to go shopping again. It'll be interesting to see how big he's gotten at his 4 month checkup. When the hell did I acquire a 4 month old? Time sure does fly when you're having fun!

It's been great having two of my friends from Utah here the past few days. I'll be sad to see them go this week. Even though we haven't been able to do any of the super fun or touristy stuff, it's been nice having good friends around who have been there for me through everything. As much as being in NY has been helpful to me in many ways and I've loved spending the extra time with my dad, I really really miss Utah. I feel my time in NY coming to an end, and my journey back to Utah coming closer. I think it's just about time for me to fly... :)  

St Pattys Day & The Deadly Fishbowl...

Yowza! I can't believe March is half over already. T minus 12 days until my fashion show, giddy up! I've got 7 models, 2 photographers, 1 makeup artist and a hairstylist coming. Gotta love great people banding together to support a great cause and promote their businesses! The fundraiser raffle giveaway has turned into a major hassle - apparently I need approval from the NYS gaming board in order to run a raffle. Screw that, guess I'll just do a silent auction instead. I suspect it will be just as effective. Other than that, I just need to write what I'm going to say for the event (I'm the MC) and pick out music and everything will be ready to go! Overall, things are going great business'wise. I have some new business deals on the horizon, but it's too soon to go into detail just yet. I'm super grateful to have such amazing, inspiring people in my life who continue to believe in me and push me to go further. Suffice it to say, exciting things are happening! "In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit."

I decided to break out of my shell and live a little on St Patty's Day. My mom watched Dominic for most of the night while I went to a good friend's birthday/St Patty's Day bash and then out for some drinks. Lets just say a male dancer, old friends and a fishbowl full of liquor make for an interesting night! I'm glad I went out and had some fun, but it was also a good reminder as to why I don't drink excessively anymore. I sure don't miss the hangovers and I'd much rather spend the time with my little man. I think I'll be good on the party front until my NYC trip to see Nickelback next month.

I think (and hope) spring is finally here in NY. The last few days have been super nice (albeit a bit humid). Now that Dominic is getting old enough to actually go out and do some stuff, I can't wait to take him all over this summer. I'm seeing the beach, the zoo and the park in our very near future. He's developing such a cute personality. He's one of the most smiley babies I've ever seen and he's very animated. He just loves to hear himself talk and look at himself in the mirror. It amazes me the new things he picks up on a daily basis. I'm going to have my hands full when he starts walking, that's for damn sure. Watch out world - my little protege is a mini go-getter just like his mama!

HOPE Is In the Air...

Ahhhh, I finally have a minute to relax and catch my breath. Life just keeps getting busier and busier. Spent 8 hours at a funeral today for my great grandma Lil who passed away last week. I'm glad I was able to get Dominic over to meet her a couple weeks ago before she passed away. It was sad to see her go, but she lived a long happy life. If all good people were lucky enough to live to be 88 years old, then maybe life would make a little more sense. But, when does life ever make sense?

Things sure are turning around though. Thanks to my interns, my 14 hour work days and networking with some amazing people I am starting to see a huge difference in my businesses. Especially TT's Attic. Things are far from perfect or where I envision them to be, but I'm proud of how far I've come thus far. Less than a month now until my "HOPE Is In The Air" fashion show/fundraiser, and I received amazing news yesterday that The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention is going to support my event and send the CNY chapter board members to set up a table! I'm beyond excited. After I got off the phone with the area director for AFSP, I literally got the chills - I had a sudden feeling that things were exactly the way they are supposed to be, all thanks to my beautiful best friend. Talese has been my inspiration from day one and always will be. It's easy to get caught up in life sometimes but I try to take at least 5 minutes everyday and think about the reason behind why I do what I do, and think about all the ways she has changed me. If I can make a difference in at least one persons life the way she has mine, all the hard work will be worth it. I hope the show has a good turn out so we can raise money for a great cause. I really feel like this will be the beginning of a great relationship with the AFSP members in the CNY area.  "We can do no great things, only small things with great love."

In other great news, two of my good friends from Utah are coming to visit me at the end of the month and they will be here for the fashion show! I couldn't be more excited. Sometimes I don't feel like me without my entourage around, and it will be nice to have a little bit of "home" around for awhile. This will be their first time meeting Dominic or seeing me with a baby, so it should be interesting!

Dominic keeps getting cuter and smarter everyday - no surprise there. He can hold a bottle (yes, I was just as surprised), grab a rattle, pull on his toys hanging from his carseat, and talk up a storm. I still standby the fact that he's a baby genius. And I can't take him anywhere without random people approaching me and telling me how gorgeous he is, (hey what can I say, he's got a hot mama!) Everyone tells me he's starting to look more like me. I can see it a little, but I'd say overall he's a pretty good combination. But yes, I'm aware he's quite a bit tanner than me. Sometimes I feel like it's the elephant in the room. Yeah, my kid is tan. Yeah, his father is tan. Big deal. To be honest I'm a little jealous ha ha! His new favorite thing is pulling my hair when I hold him and listening to me read him Dr. Seuss stories before bedtime. Sometimes it's hard to pull myself away from him to get my work done. Suffice it to say, I love that little man more than I ever thought I was capable of loving anyone. 

Ms. Feisty Is Back!

I really wish I had more time to post regularly on here. If I wasn't working until 1 AM every day I would be all over it. I realize most people have absolutely no idea what I do on a daily basis so I figured I would elaborate. Now of course it depends on the day, but a "typical" day consists of; managing my businesses and clients social media pages, optimizing my web sites for SEO, working on building up my sales teams, managing my interns, revising my training process, promoting my upcoming fashion show/fundraiser, writing press releases, doing e-mail marketing, researching/buying new inventory, and working on new designs for the boutique, just to name a few. It makes me cringe every time people ask me when I'm going to "start looking for a job". Yes, there are actually ignorant people out there who assume I do nothing just because THEY don't understand what I do. No, I'm not sitting home in my pajamas watching TV all day. No, I'm not trying to do a "get rich quick scheme." Yes, I run two legitimate businesses. Yes, I work 8 - 12 hours on an average day. Yes, I do make money. And yes, both of my businesses are absolutely still works in progress with a lot of room left to grow. Just thought I would clear that up for a few folks. Hopefully getting that off my chest will ward off an impending meltdown next time someone makes the assumption that because I am "self employed" that means I am "unemployed". I am in fact very much employed, thank you very much.

It's been a long time coming but the feisty Blair everyone knows and loves is back. Watch out world! I've said it before and I'll say it again, my motto for 2012 is "Go big or go home!" I've got some great things in progress, and I just can't wait to prove a few people wrong once they come to fruition. Those of you who doubt me only motivate me more so, by all means,  keep the condescension coming. Not sure where the sudden pent up aggression has come from, but I like it. I think it's just what I needed to light a fire under my ass (in case I wasn't motivated enough already). I refuse to accept anything less than the best from this point forward. Word to the wise - I won't forgot those of you who believed in me or those of you who tried to bring me down. End of story. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but true friends will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

On another note, Dominic has gone through a sudden "growth spurt" for lack of better terminology. He can hold his head up quite well, he can roll from his belly to his back, he can prop himself up on his elbows, he can hold a rattle, he can make the "g" and "b" sounds, and follow a voice when someone enters a room. My kid is a genius, that's all there is to it. And he just keeps getting cuter everyday. His new favorite thing is batting his eyelashes at me. It amazes me how I love him more every single second I'm with him. He truly is the best part of my day every single day. It's difficult for me to fathom how such an amazing, perfect, sweet little person came from such a complete and utter ignoramus of a sperm donor (see previous paragraph about sudden pent up aggression). I know this much - Dominic is going to by 100 times the man Steve is (yeah the cat's out of the bag, baby daddy's name is Steve). I'm breaking the "dead beat dad" cycle or I'll die trying.

Yep, We're Still Kickin...

No I didn't fall off the face of the earth or quit blogging. Just been too damn busy to post lately. As you can imagine, watching an (almost) 3 month old baby full time, working (more than) full time and planning two very stressful (but lucrative and GENIUS) events is quite time consuming. Business expansion is still going in the right direction and things just keep getting busier. At this rate, I'll have to bring on some full time employees in the near future. "There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday."

Once things slow down a wee bit, I'm taking a damn vacation! Although I can think of about a billion places that would be more fun or relaxing, my first stop is Salt Lake City. I have too many people I want to see, and a few that I feel like I NEED to see sooner than later. I miss my people, my entourage, my groupies. Sometimes I don't feel like me without having my people around. I've done a lot of changing since I landed in NY last May, and I'm anxious to see if/how this will change any of my relationships. Only time will tell...

I took an impromptu and much needed break on Sunday and went to the casino with my cousin. It wasn't planned, but I was long overdue for some "me" time. It was nice to get away and go do something I have fun with (I just love my blackjack!) Even tried my hand in the poker room. But after about an hour I started missing my little man. I was gone for about 6 hours and that's the longest I've been away from him in one sitting. Coming home and giving him a big hug and kiss made my entire day!

I just can't believe my little man will be 3 months old in a couple weeks. Seems like just yesterday I was being induced. And he just keeps getting cuter and smarter everyday. He has such a sweet little personality. I already find myself looking at pictures of him from when he was "little" aka first born, and missing him being so tiny  His new favorite thing is sticking out his bottom lip when he doesn't get his way. I can't imagine where he learned that from ha ha!  The kid already knows how to make me laugh. Time sure does fly when you're having fun!

Life Is Beautiful...

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The Best Two Months

Wow, where does the time go? Today (well, technically yesterday since it's after midnight now) is the two month mark of when my perfect little man entered this world. I can NOT believe he's growing up so quickly. I have learned so much from him and about myself during the past two months, it's hard to believe I'm even the same person sometimes. I couldn't ask for a smarter, cuter, funnier, more perfect baby. I feel like the luckiest mama in the world when I get to wake up and see Dominic everyday. I love my little baby genius!

Dominic has his two month checkup at the doctors in the morning. I'm going to have them take a second look at his belly - I'm still worried because it just looks abnormally big to me. I'm probably just being paranoid, but I need to know for sure or it will drive me nuts. I'm also super nervous because they want to give him all his vaccinations tomorrow. I posted earlier this summer about my concerns regarding certain vaccines. Well those concerns haven't changed, but unfortunately NY is one of those states that doesn't give you much choice concerning immunizations. I talked to several pediatricians and the general consensus was that vaccines weren't optional. Don't get me wrong - I was ok with most of them, but there are a few that I think are unnecessary. Oh well, guess he's getting them whether I approve or not. It will be a lesson in self control to not stress about it all weekend.

Business has gone crazy all the sudden, which is good and bad. Most days I run around like a chicken with it's head cut off, trying to manage work and baby and yet I still end the day with stuff left on my to-do list. I'm super nervous about my upcoming events - I know I can pull them off, the interns are extremely helpful and all the parts are there, it's just a matter of pushing forward and finding a way around any issues that should arise. I think most of my stress stems from the fact that I'm no longer just counting on myself, but I have several other people counting on me to be successful as well - my interns, the people who are coming to my events, the businesses who sponsor my events and so on. But, I can't let my fear of failure get in the way. I'd rather fail and try it again a different way, than not try at all and never know what the outcome could have been. I'm thankful for all the people who still believe in me after the last two crazy years. I know there are quite a few people who doubt me or think that I've lost my mind. After I quit my stock broker job at E*Trade and went rogue, I feel like some people started to regard me as a "has been". But I assure you, I haven't just been sitting here thinking about the life I used to have. I've been carefully planning and putting into action the life I'd like to have. But, alas, things like this take time and don't happen overnight. At least I'm finally starting to see some results. I feel more positive about this year than I've felt about anything in a long time. "I am not a has-been.  I am a will be."


With all this work, I've had virtually no time for relaxation or "play time". When I do get spare time, I like to spend most of it hanging out with my little protege, reading him stories, taking naps, etc. I'm enjoying this mommy role quite a bit. But I do need to let my hair down every now and again. So I'm planning a night out for St. Patty's Day. Not sure what I'm doing yet, but it was my best friend, Talese's, favorite holiday, so I'll likely honor her by going to an Irish bar and having a few drinks in her honor. I haven't even gone yet and already I feel a little guilty for leaving my little man behind. But adult time is necessary every now and then if I want to keep my sanity. I'll also be going to NYC to see Nickelback and Bush at Madison Square Gardens on April 19th and I'm very much looking forward to that! I don't care what people say, Nickelback is one of my favorite bands and I'm super excited for this concert. Talese and I had plans to go to Nickelback two years in a row and never did make it to their concert. It will be hard to be there without her. I've missed her tons lately. But I know she'll be there in spirit. "Wherever I am you'll always be more than just a memory."

Just Another Day In Paradise...

Damn, it felt good to take the weekend off from work. I'd like to make a habit out of it but there's a fat chance of that happening with all of the upcoming business events I have planned. I've found venues for my upcoming marketing seminar and fashion fundraiser. Now on to the fun part - planning and marketing! I swear I'm more nervous about signing the contracts to secure the event venues than I was when I closed on my house! Oh well, time to push those fears aside and move forward. The show must go on!

Spent the weekend hanging with the family and cuddling my little man. These are the things that I look forward to most now as a mommy. I FINALLY got around to starting Dominic's baby book, just need to add pictures and I'll be all caught up. Yay me. Unfortunately my weekend ended with me feeling a bit under the weather today. Stuffy nose, body aches and super tired - yuck! Here's to hoping I feel better tomorrow morning and I can start the week off on a positive note.

Been thinking a lot lately about how fortunate I am to have such great parents. Sure they may annoy me at times, but I'm always very grateful of how supportive they've been through the last few years. My life has changed so much but the one thing I can always count on is them. I definitely wouldn't be where I am today without them and I love them very much. Some people aren't so lucky to have two great parents. Case in point, Dominic. I'm doing my best to make his life as perfect as possible, but no matter what I do it will never take the place of having another loving parent. For the most part I don't think about it too much,  but I've been wondering a lot lately how this will affect him once he gets older and starts to ask questions. I'm mostly concerned because I can't begin to fathom how it feels not having two loving parents and I feel like I won't be able to relate to him. Ironically, one of the people who knows what he'll be going through and could relate to him (his father) is the same person who put him in this situation. Oh, the irony! I guess I'll cross this bridge when I come to it.  "Some things were never meant to be no matter how much we wish they were."

Just Call Me Polar Bear...

So taking a dip in the river mid-January when it's 14 degrees outside isn't as bad as one might think! I did my "polar bear plunge" this past Saturday with two of my interns and a few friends. The event wasn't as organized as I had hoped, but it was a lot of fun! Some groups even went in costumes. Team TT's Attic took the plunge to a very fitting "I'm Too Sexy".  To be honest, it really wasn't THAT bad and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I went in just about up to my shoulders. The coldness of the water didn't really hit me until after I got out, at which point it felt like knives stabbing the lower half of my body. No biggie. "Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

I interviewed my second round of interns last week and started training my first group of interns today. I'm super excited about having the extra help and some fresh ideas for a few months. I really think we'll be able to make some great progress and plan some awesome events. Time to go balls to the wall!

Every time I think I can't love my little man more, he does something super cute and I fall even more in love with him. It's so funny, before he was born and as I was reading all the pregnancy and baby books I thought I had everything all figured out. I remember thinking "I will NEVER let my baby co-sleep with me" and "I do NOT want Dominic to have a pacifier", yet here I am with a 7 week old who loves his pacifier at bedtime and takes daily naps with his mama. Things changed so much once he was actually here and everything I thought I knew went completely out the window. I've come to realize that it's okay to do things my own way sometimes and not everything has to be done "by the book." Having a child has been such an amazing learning experience so far!

My Latest Epiphany...

*Sigh* It's about damn time I had a few free minutes to post. What's new here? Lets see, loving my little mini-me more everyday, getting myself psyched up to jump in a freezing ass river next week for charity, and working like a madwoman 24/7. I've become such a proud mama. I know I'm biased and everyone thinks their kid is the cutest/smartest, but Dominic seriously is! I've been reading up on different milestones for newborn babies, and he's ahead of the game by 1-2 months on some of them. He already smiles, laughs, coos, kicks his feet and reaches for things. It's amazing how much personality he has for only 6 weeks old. Oh and did I mention he's absolutely beautiful? Future president in the making!

Aside from adoring my little protege, I've been spending some time thinking about life, success, etc. I've certainly taken my fair share of risks, career and otherwise. But I've come to realize that in some ways I'm subconsciously standing in the way of my own success. I have a tendency to over analyze and over plan things, especially where it concerns business. This past year I've spent building solid foundations for my businesses and planning for the future. But now it's time to stop planning and start doing. Less looking, more leaping. I've learned that no matter how much I plan I'll never please 100% of my customers and sometimes I'm still going to fail. I'm learning to be ok with that. If some of my business ideas fail, I'll brush myself off and move to the next ones. But if I don't start at least attempting some of these ideas, I'll always have two small businesses, when I could have two huge amazing businesses. Time to go big or go home."You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

I've also noticed that in some ways I may be a little afraid of taking things to the next level and becoming more successful. Again, this is something I didn't realize until I really sat and thought about it. Once business is taken to the next level, I'll have just about anything I could want or ask for. Business and financial success. The most perfect baby in the world. Great friends and family. Only one thing missing. One thing that I rarely talk about (or think about for that matter). Romance. Love. Whatever you sappy people want to call it. So why don't I ever talk about it? For one, it's fairly non existent in my life these days. Second, I don't have time with baby and work occupying all my time. And lastly, it scares the shit out of me. Truth be told, I've been enamored with someone for quite some time and he's the only who doesn't know it. I could make a million excuses as to why I haven't pursued it, including the fact that I'm currently 2500 miles away, but it would be just that - an excuse. Perhaps it's time to put on my big girl panties and stop being such a wuss. On second thought, I think I'll start by taking more business risks and see how that goes first. And that's all I'm going to say about that!

"It's amazing the things you can accomplish when you get out of your own way."

Love of My Life...

I've finally met the love of my life. He weighs about 9 and a half pound and sucks his thumb. I often refer to him as my "little protege" or my "little man", but his name is Dominic.  When I was going through the labor process, I expected this overwhelming surge of emotion when I met him for the first time.  That's what everyone had told me to expect. But for me, it wasn't that way at all. That's not to say it wasn't love at first site because I knew I loved him before he was even born. But more than anything I felt a huge sense of relief when he was born. Relief that he was safe and healthy. And relief that my 42 hour labor was finally over! The first week after Dominic came home I went into survival mode, just trying to figure out how to take care of him and avert any disasters. But after week two, once I got the hang of things, I really started to enjoy my time with him a lot more. Maybe I'm just an odd duck, but for me the bonding process has been more gradual and I find new things to love about him everyday. It's safe to say he's already got me wrapped around his finger. Hell, I even love his "pissed off" face. When he looks at me with those big brown eyes and sticks out that bottom lip, I'm done for.

The inevitable has happened. I've turned into my mother. Overprotective. Paranoid. Worrywart. I'm pretty sure all of those would be fitting. I took Dominic to the doctor today because I thought his belly looked disproportionately big compared to the rest of his body. Turns out he was just bloated. I have a hard time not worrying about every little thing, but I guess that's my job. I even find myself watching him while he sleeps sometimes just to make sure he's still breathing. I'm scared to imagine how I'll be acting when he's a teenager.

 So I've realized Dominic is a genius. Not that I ever doubted he would be. But in reading up on infants, he's advanced in just about every area so far. He started smiling and giggling at about 2-3 weeks old and he started following my voice around the same time. He's already started to make cooing sounds and every now and then will even put his own pacifier back in his mouth when it falls out. Pretty damn advanced for a (not even) 5 week old! Harvard law school here we come!

I've still got a million things on my plate as far as business goes, but I'm quite content with the progress I've been making. I've come up with a few more brilliant ideas that I'll be rolling out within the next few months. In a few weeks I'm doing a charity event "polar bear plunge" to raise money for cystic fibrosis and the Ronald McDonald house charities. A few friends, a few interns and myself will all be jumping in the Seneca River mid-January in order to get people to donate. Our team will be representing my two businesses, TT's Attic and The Alpha Omega Solution. Should be a fun (albeit freezing) time! This week I'll be finishing up the training for my interns and interviewing some fashion designers for the boutique. I'm going to eventually be phasing out wholesale inventory and have all my items custom designed (among other things). I'm super stoked for the changes this year has in store! But all things considered, the best part of my day is still when I get to relax and cuddle with the cutest baby in the world. It makes all the stress and hard work completely worth it! "Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep."