Rainy Day Fun

How 'bout that Hurricane Irene, eh? As devastating as it was in some areas, upstate NY made it out relatively unscathed in comparison to all the hype that was made about the storm. I'm just glad everyone here is perfectly safe and we didn't lose power. A bit of rain and wind was the extent of the "severe weather" around here. But I figured that would be the case...

The rain made me want to be lazy, so I was less than productive today. Well, less than productive this entire weekend actually. Went to the NY state fair yesterday with my dad and brothers and spent about 8 hours walking around. Needless  to say, Dominic and I got our exercise! We also got some great food. Lets just say Dominic completely approves of the ribs from the Dinosaur BBQ ;) I had planned on staying to see the free Trace Adkins concert, but by the time 8 PM rolled around I was exhausted and annoyed with the insane masses of people. At that point my bed sounded much more appealing than a free concert. All in all, it was a great day but I almost had a small outburst towards one of the fair vendors. I was waiting with my 5 year old brother while my dad was in line buying fudge. There happened to be a vendor set up selling back massagers across the way from where my dad was standing, and there were 8 available chairs. I took a seat since no one was using them, and about 60 seconds later the sales lady approaches me and asks "are you going to try out the product?" I say "No, I'm just waiting for someone to get out of line." Very rudely she tells me "well I've got a product to sell and if you're not going to buy one then you need to leave and stop taking up the seat." Woah bitch, pump the brakes! First of all, I wouldn't have sat down if there was a crowd of people waiting to try your product. There were 8, count them 8, FREE chairs that no one was using. Second of all, as I stated I was only taking a brief rest for about 2-3 minutes while I was waiting for someone. Lastly, and most importantly in my opinion, kicking a 7 month pregnant woman out of a chair when you have 7 more available chairs is probably NOT the best way to sell a product. But what do I know about sales? I mean, I only own two sales based businesses so clearly I know nothing..."It is higher and nobler to be kind. "

Shitty Parents Beware

I debated on whether or not to get on my so-called "soapbox" and write this post or to refrain. Looks like writing this post won. Before I say anything else, I would just like to say that yes, I am aware that I'm a first time parent and no, I'm not by any means an expert on parenting. But I am entitled to some observations and an opinion. With that being said, I would just like to go on the record as stating how much I loathe, detest and despise shitty parents. By my definition, a shitty parent is anyone who can't or doesn't make time for their kids, anyone who constantly leaves their kids with babysitters to go out and "party", anyone (mainly women) who use their kids as money making machines in order to get child support, anyone who walks around in expensive clothes while their children are dressed in clothes that are dirty and pants 2 inches too short, and most of all anyone who willfully abandons their child. These are children, not puppies, and whatever you do (or don't do) as parents shapes the people they will become. If you can't step it up and set a decent example for your children, keep your damn pants on and stop procreating! Deadbeat parents are the scum of the earth in my book (and yes, I may be a bit biased due to my current situation). Even before I was on the brink of having a child and dealing with my son's sad excuse for a father, I was never able to tolerate bad parents. In fact, I even stopped being friends with certain people because I couldn't bear to stand by and watch the neglectful behavior towards their children. How anyone can stand by and enable/support friends (or even family members) who don't take care of their children is beyond me. Then again, I guess some people choose their friends based on who tells them what they want to hear and who they can go get drunk with. Personally, I prefer to surround myself with quality people who add something to my life - now there's an idea! I was lucky enough to be blessed with THREE wonderful parents, and I can only hope that my parenting skills will rival those of my mom, dad and step-dad. A big thank you to my three parents for raising me to be the person I am today! "Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them."

On another note, I created my team for this years Out of the Darkness Walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. My team, "there is always hope", was created in loving memory of my best friend Talese Turner. I really hope to get a good turn out this year and to get some good donations. My team goal for donations is $1500 which I think is very reasonable. I would like to get a team of at least 15 people put together so we can start doing fundraisers leading up to the event in October. I have a few ideas in mind already and I'm excited to see how it will all come together. If you don't already have plans for October 8th and you're in the central NY area, please please please join my team and help us support a great cause. I promise it's more important than sleeping in or anything else you could be doing on a Saturday morning because you could help save a life! Once I have the team members established, I would like to order t-shirts for the event. I'm still in the process of designing a logo for the team, but I have a couple rough drafts worked up. I'll post pictures, suggestions are welcomed :)

It's a Child, Not a Puppy!

Had a nice, albeit short, family outing today. Went to the zoo with my dad and little brother. It was a nice change of scenery, and good to walk around and get some excercise. I can't wait to bring Dominic to the zoo, I bet he'll love the animals. I keep thinking of all the fun things I'll be able to do with him and it's making me so anxious for him to get here!

While at the zoo, I was surprised and disgusted by the number of kids on leashes. They are children people, not animals. If you can't control your kid well enough to bring them to the zoo without being on a leash, you probably shouldn't have kids. Aside from looking ridiculous, I think child leashes are just cruel. What ever happened to a stoller or just watching your kid and paying attention to what they're doing once they're big enough to walk? Don't get me wrong, I'm new to this whole parenting concept and far from an expert but I can assure you, you'll never see Dominic on a leash! "Simply having children does not make mothers."

I think baby pajamas and socks are the cutest things ever. Dominic is acquiring quite the clothing and pajama collection. I bought him some footed aninmal pj's a few weeks ago. I think the only thing cuter than the pajamas is going to be Dominic in the pajamas!

Marriage Equality, The 80's and My Best Friend...

As of 11:55 PM last night, New York became the 6th state to legally recognize same-sex marriage. Never been more proud to call myself a New Yorker! So glad to be bringing my baby into a world that is slowly, but surely starting to recognize equality for everyone. I'm excited to see what other changes will take place in his lifetime. "Being gay isn't a choice, being a bigot is!"

Went to an 80's party today. Took me awhile to figure out what to wear since nothing could top the Madonna cone bra costume I wore to the last 80's party I attended. Ended up rockin' a miniskirt/leggings ensemble complete with teased hair and Converse All-Stars. Realized I don't miss drinking all that much, it's funny how silly drunk people look when you're sober. Definitely don't miss the hangovers.

Getting ready for the party got me missing my best friend, Talese, who passed away last September. The last 80's party I went to was with her. I remember her getting ready in her Tom Cruise Risky Business outfit. What a great night. It's the little things I miss the most. I hate knowing that my son will never know her or have memories of her. But, I'm also greatful that I was able to learn so much from her in such a short time. I think I'll be a better mother because of the things she taught me.

Can't wait for my ultrasound on July 5th. I'm super anxious to see Dominic and hear his heartbeat and make sure he's okay. Every pain, backache, cramp, etc makes me paranoid that something's wrong. I can already tell I'm going to be an overprotective mama. I never thought I would be able to love another little person so much!

Friday, Friday...

Ahhh, Friday - my long lost love. Got off to a rocky start today when I had the brilliant idea to pick up some food for breakfast. Woke up, threw up on some sweat pants and headed out. Arrived at the drive thru, waited in line 10 minutes just for them to tell me I was 3 minutes past the cutoff for breakfast. I promptly exclaimed "Mother f****r!" told them to forget it and sped off. That's what I get for wanting fast food anyway, I should have known better. From now on I'll stay home and cook like I normally do.

After I got my daily outburst out of the way, I had a relatively decent and productive day. Spent about an hour or two daydreaming about taking Dominic to Disney World. Who says Disney is just for kids? I've been all over the country on various vacations and it's still my all time favorite place to go. I already have his first five years planned out and he's not even here yet...

Finally decided it was time to be productive around 3 PM, and have been working on marketing and training materials for my businesses ever since. Now if only I could find some semi-intelligent, motivated employees my life would be complete!

"The game of life is the game of boomerangs. Sooner or later our thoughts, deeds and words come back to us with astounding accuracy."

Once Upon a Time...

Once upon a time there was a 23 year old girl named Blair. She lead an eventful life, busy focusing on her future, running two start up businesses and living the dream. She never imagined in her wildest dreams a place in her life for a baby. When one day, a routine doctors appointment brought a surprise - Blair had a baby on board! And that's where the story begins....

Hi everyone! Thanks for checking out my blog. As the intro stated, I'm Blair - a 23 year old business owner and single mama to be. I created the blog to give a little insight as to what it's like being  an expectant mother. A single expectant mother. A busy, ambitious single expectant mother. I hope that some of you will, at the very least, be able to relate the experiences I share here. And I'm looking forward to hearing stories from other women such as myself. But first, lets get everyone up to speed on how I got to where I am today...

In November/December of 2010, I started casually dating a guy we'll call SJ. He was close friends and co-workers with one of my best friends husbands, so I had seen him around a few times. My expectations of him and our relationship weren't high from the get-go because I didn't think we had much in common. Nevertheless, I thought he would be someone fun to hang out with and so began the saga. After hanging out a couple times and  enjoying his company, I realized I liked spending time with him and that we had more in common than I had anticipated. SJ appeared to be intelligent, have a good sense of humor and seemed to be a great dad to his 4 year old daughter from a previous relationship. Over the course of a few months, we began talking everyday, going to events together and getting closer. We weren't dating exclusively but it was clear that both of us were quite fond of one another. We shared similar values, talked about life, had fun together, laughed together and on one occassion even cried together. Yep, things were going great...

And then, in early April I found out I was expecting and that the baby was due November 24, 2011. It came as a huge  shock because I had been on birth control for over two years. When I initially told SJ, he was relatively calm and collected but it was clear he would rather not have a child. After several days of consideration, I told him I would be keeping the child and that I didn't expect anything from him but to be there for the baby. I wasn't asking anything of him financially, I wasn't trying to trap him into a relationship, I just wanted our baby to know his father. At first, he handled the news well. But over the course of a couple weeks, the person I thought I knew completely disappeared. He decided that it was in his (and somehow the child's) best interest if he was not around and was allowed to sign over all rights. I was shocked. Although the situation wasn't planned or ideal for either of us, I was baffled at how he could be such a good dad to one child and a deadbeat to another. Especially considering he grew up without a dad and had mentioned on several occassions how much contempt he had for his father for not being around.  I thought perhaps he was just in shock and over time he might come around....

Sadly, that was not the case. For about a month I continued to send him doctors updates on the baby until one day a few weeks ago things took a turn for the worse. As if being an absentee father wasn't enough, he began making cruel remarks towards me. This was the point when I decided that indeed he was right and that his being in our child's life would not be best for the child. He's not the type of influence I want for my child. And if he's not in 100% then he's not in at all. Once my bundle of joy arrives in November, we will be honoring his wish and allowing him to sign over all rights. "Anyone can be a father, but it takes a special person to be a dad"

Found out two weeks ago, I'm having a boy - Dominic Anthony Stephen! The prospect of being a single mom is challenging and scary at times, but also very exciting and rewarding. I am so greatful to have such wonderful family and friends to support me in one of the most integral and amazing times in my life. Dominic has been moving for a few weeks now and I love it! I can't wait to see him and hold him and kiss him. I can only hope he doesn't decide to greet us in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner ha ha!

To be continued....