Shitty Parents Beware

I debated on whether or not to get on my so-called "soapbox" and write this post or to refrain. Looks like writing this post won. Before I say anything else, I would just like to say that yes, I am aware that I'm a first time parent and no, I'm not by any means an expert on parenting. But I am entitled to some observations and an opinion. With that being said, I would just like to go on the record as stating how much I loathe, detest and despise shitty parents. By my definition, a shitty parent is anyone who can't or doesn't make time for their kids, anyone who constantly leaves their kids with babysitters to go out and "party", anyone (mainly women) who use their kids as money making machines in order to get child support, anyone who walks around in expensive clothes while their children are dressed in clothes that are dirty and pants 2 inches too short, and most of all anyone who willfully abandons their child. These are children, not puppies, and whatever you do (or don't do) as parents shapes the people they will become. If you can't step it up and set a decent example for your children, keep your damn pants on and stop procreating! Deadbeat parents are the scum of the earth in my book (and yes, I may be a bit biased due to my current situation). Even before I was on the brink of having a child and dealing with my son's sad excuse for a father, I was never able to tolerate bad parents. In fact, I even stopped being friends with certain people because I couldn't bear to stand by and watch the neglectful behavior towards their children. How anyone can stand by and enable/support friends (or even family members) who don't take care of their children is beyond me. Then again, I guess some people choose their friends based on who tells them what they want to hear and who they can go get drunk with. Personally, I prefer to surround myself with quality people who add something to my life - now there's an idea! I was lucky enough to be blessed with THREE wonderful parents, and I can only hope that my parenting skills will rival those of my mom, dad and step-dad. A big thank you to my three parents for raising me to be the person I am today! "Be careful the environment you choose for it will shape you; be careful the friends you choose for you will become like them."

On another note, I created my team for this years Out of the Darkness Walk for the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. My team, "there is always hope", was created in loving memory of my best friend Talese Turner. I really hope to get a good turn out this year and to get some good donations. My team goal for donations is $1500 which I think is very reasonable. I would like to get a team of at least 15 people put together so we can start doing fundraisers leading up to the event in October. I have a few ideas in mind already and I'm excited to see how it will all come together. If you don't already have plans for October 8th and you're in the central NY area, please please please join my team and help us support a great cause. I promise it's more important than sleeping in or anything else you could be doing on a Saturday morning because you could help save a life! Once I have the team members established, I would like to order t-shirts for the event. I'm still in the process of designing a logo for the team, but I have a couple rough drafts worked up. I'll post pictures, suggestions are welcomed :)

A Book Could Never Do Them Justice...

In my preparations for Dominic I've been spending a lot of time thinking about how fortunate he is to have such wonderful people in his life - my mom and dad, close friends and other family members - I feel great knowing he'll never have a shortage of people who love him. I've also been spending a lot of time reflecting on the people close to me who left this world a little too soon and will never get to know him. Specifically my step dad Steve who passed away after a long battle with sarcoma in November 2009 and my best friend (more like a sister) Talese who passed away unexpectedly in September 2010. It breaks my heart that he will never be able to attend a family function with "Grandpa Steve" or get a haircut from "Aunty Talese". But, I can at least feel good knowing I will always carry a piece of them with me that I can hopefully pass along to Dominic. This week I'm going to start working on two books for Dominic to help him get to know Steve and Talese, complete with pictures, stories and fun facts about them. I'm not really sure where to start because a book will never do either one of them justice, but I know I have to try to pass along as much of them as I possibly can. I suppose I'll start by compiling my favorite pictures and making a list of facts and stories that I want him to know. I think I'll create the book through Shutterfly, I've made one there before and it turned out great. Time to hit the drawing board!

"If the people we love are stolen from us, the way to have them live on is to never stop loving them. Buildings burn, people die, but real love is forever."

The Long Road Ahead...

Spent the last few days stuck at home sick with the flu. Being sick sucks enough normally without the added worry of stressing about Dominic being ok. It also kinda sucks not being able to take most medications. I did end up taking 2 Tylenol yesterday, which were on my approved list of "safe" medications by my doctor. I hate taking anything unless it's absolutely necessary because I get paranoid about the potential effects to Dominic, but there was no way I would have been able to get comfortable or fall asleep with taking something to relieve the back pain. Still not feeling 100% today, but leaps and bounds better by comparison to yesterday. And Dominic was doing all sorts of somersaults this morning so that eased some of my worry and made me smile.

Went to see my attorney in NY last week about some business matters and ended up discussing the whole custody/sperm donor situation with him. According to the research I did on my own, under Utah state law, the "father" (and I use that term loosely) has the right to petition the court to sign over his parental rights. In order to do so, he must prove he's not trying to avoid any financial obligation and that the decision is in the best interest of the child. I was under the impression that as long as I was on board with this decision and wasn't asking for anything financially, it would be a no-brainer for the courts to honor this request. However, my attorney seems to think it won't be that easy. He's going to delve more into the Utah state law this week, but he said typically the courts won't allow either parent to give up legal responsibility of the child (regardless of why) unless the child is in imminent danger or unless there is someone else wanting to adopt the child. Looks like I might have a more difficult road ahead of me than I anticipated. In any case, I just want what's best for Dominic. If that means the sperm donor finally stepping up and being a good dad like he is to his daughter, then great. Or if that means us fighting the court to keep him out of Dominic's life, that's fine too. I just want to avoid any situations where sperm donor comes walking back into his life after years of not being around. For now, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that someone will make the right decision - be it sperm donor or the Utah courts.

"Tough times never last, but tough people do."