Good Riddance 2011

Wow! I can't believe how fast 2011 has flown by. What a crazy up and down year it has been. It's amazing to think of all the changes I've made in my life in just 12 short months. While I hesitate to say 2011 was a "bad" year, I certainly hope 2012 will be a better year. The last three years have been sub-par, to say the least, with my divorce and the loss of my step dad and best friend so I think I'm long overdue for one kickass awesome year.

Over the past week I've been reflecting on this past year and the things I've learned. I'm happy with the many positive changes this year has brought me, not least of all my beautiful son. I've had a few friends come and go this year, but it has taught me who my true friends are.  Although a few people I thought would always be there left me sorely disappointed, I was also pleasantly surprised by a few certain people who stood by my side through all of my ups and downs. I will be forever grateful to THOSE friends. This year has been a huge lesson in patience. When I decided to regain control of my life and start my own businesses,  I never envisioned it being such a process. I've learned to accept that not everything comes fast and easy, and sometimes things worth waiting for take time. Sometimes it's okay to slow down and enjoy life instead of racing through it on a mission to get to the top. My 9 months of pregnancy and 42 hour labor were also a lesson in patience, ha ha! This year also taught me (once again) that life is full of surprises. At the beginning of 2011, I never would have imagined I would end up back in NY with a baby. But I've learned to take things in stride and I feel like I am more prepared for whatever life throws at me now. 2011 was also a very humbling year. As someone who was successful at a very young age and bought a home at the age of 18, I had a tendency to get on my "high horse" sometimes. But going from living in my own home back to staying with one of my parents (albeit temporary)and starting completely over has had a way of putting me in my place. I've learned that that sometimes it's okay to put your pride aside and accept help from others when they offer it. This year has been a year of moving on. I've learned to deal with the losses I've had over the past 3 years in a more productive way. I've moved forward with my life with the memory of my step dad and best friend close to my heart. And most importantly, I've learned to love someone more than myself again. From the moment I decided to have Dominic, his needs became more important than my own and I knew I would love him more than anything else in the world. Having him was definitely the highlight of my year (and my life thus far). All things considered, I guess 2011 wasn't such a horrible year after all.

I suppose most people see the new year as an opportunity to make positive changes and get a fresh start and I'm no different. I think of all the progress that was made in 2011 and I'm excited to see where this next year will take me. My plan is to become the best mommy (and daddy) I can be this year. I'm all Dominic has and I need to set a good example. This year I'm going to get out of NY (and likely back to Salt Lake City) to begin the next chapter in my life. I'm going to live on my own again so that I can begin to feel like a functional adult once again. I'm going to start working on a plan to buy another house for me and Dominic. This year I'm going to expand my businesses and increase profits. My goal is to hire a few full time employees for each business and have interns each semester. I want to have clients in every state for my marketing firm by the end of the year. And my goal for TT's Attic is to roll out my new and improved top secret idea by June, and to truly start to make a difference with the 20% donations I do each month. My goal is to make a difference in at least one persons life this year, through charity events, volunteering and maybe even some motivational speaking. I've come to believe it is my life's mission to make a difference. I think my life experiences give me the tools necessary to help others and I don't want that to go to waste. I want to go to Ireland this year to Whitepark Bay so I can see the beautiful place my best friend always talked about. I want to spend less time working and more time with my friends and family this year. My goal for the year is to work smarter, not harder. I know I can accomplish these things with the right attitude and determination. It won't be easy but I've always liked a challenge. Oh and I want to make my first million by the time I turn 25 in September, ha ha! Okay that one might be a bit far fetched, but who says I can't try? :) “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

A big thank you to both of my parents for being so supportive and helpful to me this year. I don't know how I would have done it all without you guys. And an equally big thank you to those friends who have been there for me through this crazy year (you know who you are). I love you guys so much and people like you give me hope for everyone else.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year! Bring it on 2012 - I'm gonna make you my bitch!!! ;)

Who Are You and What Have You Done With My Belly Button!?

22 weeks and still wearing my normal clothes - yee haw! Although at the rate Dominic is growing, something tells me these days are numbered. My boobs have continued to grow at an exponential rate, any bigger and I'll have to start ordering custom bras. My belly button is also starting to look a bit foreign to me. It's not poking out (yet), but it appears to be getting bigger and it feels hard when I touch it. I'm not gonna lie, it freaks me out a little. I'd like my normal belly button back - please and thank you!

I was supposed to do karaoke tonight with some old friends but evidently there aren't any bars in this area that do karaoke on Saturday. Karaoke is one of my favorite pastimes and it's been far too long since I've been able to sing and make an ass of myself.  What kind of town doesn't have a karaoke bar? This one, apparently.

Every now and then all the changes in my life over the past several months get to be a bit overwhelming. Getting pregnant with Dominic has truly been a blessing in disguise, but all the other changes are a lot to handle sometimes. Leaving my house that I bought when I was 18 to come and stay with my dad is a big one. He's been great about letting me stay here and I really truly do appreciate everything he's done for me. I just miss my house and it's hard to live with other people. I really miss my dog Trixie too. Up until I found out I was pregnant with Dominic, she was like my kid. To not be able to see her and to trust someone I don't even know to take care of her for the summer has been stressful. I need to figure out what to do with her at the end of the summer - find a way to get her here or find a more permanent home for her. Decisions, decisions. All in all, it's just hard to be away from the life I've known for the past 10 years and the people I've become accustomed to. With all the people who have come and gone in my life over the past few months, there are certainly some people I'm better off without. But there are a few select people in Utah who are really hard to be away from. Thank god (or the flying spaghetti monster) for internet and telephone. At least I can stay in touch with everyone until I'm able to make a trip back out there. I know this next chapter in my life is going to be my best one yet. I can see the many good changes coming and that's what keeps me going everyday. Dwelling on what could have been gets you nowhere fast. Time to focus on what could be and what will be. "Life is simple. You make choices and you don't look back."