Love of My Life...

I've finally met the love of my life. He weighs about 9 and a half pound and sucks his thumb. I often refer to him as my "little protege" or my "little man", but his name is Dominic.  When I was going through the labor process, I expected this overwhelming surge of emotion when I met him for the first time.  That's what everyone had told me to expect. But for me, it wasn't that way at all. That's not to say it wasn't love at first site because I knew I loved him before he was even born. But more than anything I felt a huge sense of relief when he was born. Relief that he was safe and healthy. And relief that my 42 hour labor was finally over! The first week after Dominic came home I went into survival mode, just trying to figure out how to take care of him and avert any disasters. But after week two, once I got the hang of things, I really started to enjoy my time with him a lot more. Maybe I'm just an odd duck, but for me the bonding process has been more gradual and I find new things to love about him everyday. It's safe to say he's already got me wrapped around his finger. Hell, I even love his "pissed off" face. When he looks at me with those big brown eyes and sticks out that bottom lip, I'm done for.

The inevitable has happened. I've turned into my mother. Overprotective. Paranoid. Worrywart. I'm pretty sure all of those would be fitting. I took Dominic to the doctor today because I thought his belly looked disproportionately big compared to the rest of his body. Turns out he was just bloated. I have a hard time not worrying about every little thing, but I guess that's my job. I even find myself watching him while he sleeps sometimes just to make sure he's still breathing. I'm scared to imagine how I'll be acting when he's a teenager.

 So I've realized Dominic is a genius. Not that I ever doubted he would be. But in reading up on infants, he's advanced in just about every area so far. He started smiling and giggling at about 2-3 weeks old and he started following my voice around the same time. He's already started to make cooing sounds and every now and then will even put his own pacifier back in his mouth when it falls out. Pretty damn advanced for a (not even) 5 week old! Harvard law school here we come!

I've still got a million things on my plate as far as business goes, but I'm quite content with the progress I've been making. I've come up with a few more brilliant ideas that I'll be rolling out within the next few months. In a few weeks I'm doing a charity event "polar bear plunge" to raise money for cystic fibrosis and the Ronald McDonald house charities. A few friends, a few interns and myself will all be jumping in the Seneca River mid-January in order to get people to donate. Our team will be representing my two businesses, TT's Attic and The Alpha Omega Solution. Should be a fun (albeit freezing) time! This week I'll be finishing up the training for my interns and interviewing some fashion designers for the boutique. I'm going to eventually be phasing out wholesale inventory and have all my items custom designed (among other things). I'm super stoked for the changes this year has in store! But all things considered, the best part of my day is still when I get to relax and cuddle with the cutest baby in the world. It makes all the stress and hard work completely worth it! "Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep."

Baby Showers, Boutiques & A Beautiful Weekend!

Wow, what a weekend! Although it was very tiring, I have to say this weekend was the perfect combination of fun, busy, productive and exactly what I needed. I had my baby shower yesterday and I'm super thrilled with the way it turned out. Everyone loved the brunch theme and the caterers did a great job with the food. The venue was nice. The cake tasted great. Had a pretty good turnout. My mom even ordered me a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers so I could have a little something to remind me of my best friend there with me. And that's not to mention all the adorable baby gear I got for my little protege. Thanks so much to everyone who came - it was great to see everyone and I'm very appreciative of the lovely gifts. Pictures will be posted within a day or two!

I had my fall boutique & fundraiser today to sell some of my items from TT's Attic and raise money for team "There Is Always Hope". I didn't have a very big turnout but I fared decent with those who did show up. On the bright side, at least the weather was nice and I was able to make some good connections with other people in the area. I'm very much looking forward to the next few months and the new direction the boutique is taking. The launch of the new and improved TT's Attic is going to take a little longer than I anticipated but that's ok because I would rather wait for everything to be just perfect. I'm thinking I will unveil everything just in time for January 2012. Here's a few hints; we will still be carrying the same affordable, edgy merchandise that you love. Our vision of caring and giving back to the community has and will not change - 20% will still be donated to a different charity every month. The new and improved TT's Attic will offer a more personalized fashion experience for our fans. And most importantly, our innovative idea will set us apart from our competition and we know that you'll absolutely love it! Thanks to everyone for the support since our inception last December - I can't wait to show you all what we have in store! “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

I have another busy week ahead, but I'm happy with that because more stuff is getting checked off the "to do" list everyday. I have 3 new contractors starting tomorrow for The Alpha Omega Solution, so that should help with some of my workload. Another baby doctor appointment is scheduled for Thursday, and I've finally managed to work in some much needed "ME" time. I managed to set aside a couple hours to get my hair cut and styled this week - yay! Who'd have thought I'd ever get so excited over something that used to be routine for me. It seems like I haven't had my hair done in forever because I haven't had the time and quite frankly it hasn't been a priority. I'm very much looking forward to my grooming.

As the days pass by, my anxiety and stress is slowly becoming replaced with an increasing level of excitement.  I just can't wait to see my little man. I keep wondering what he's going to look like. I picture him with dark hair like mine and big brown eyes. I can't wait to hold him and kiss him and read bedtime stories to him and get his pictures taken and have Christmas with him. I could go on forever. All I need to do when I'm having a bad day is think about Dominic and it makes me smile. It's still hard to believe I'm capable of feeling such emotions! Only 8 1/2 more weeks - bring it on baby!

The Cat's Outta the Bag...

Time to let the cat out of the proverbial bag. When I came to NY in early May, my plan was to head back to Utah at the end of the summer and have Dominic out there. But life happens, things change and sometimes you have to adapt your plans. Turns out,  I'll actually be having Dominic here in upstate NY and staying for a few months after he's born. For one, I don't want to leave here until I know I'm financially able to afford trips back and forth to visit family whenever I want. As such, I've decided to stay a bit longer and save a bit more. Second of all, I absolutely love my team of doctors here. My baby doctor in Utah was decent, but from day one I've felt like my doctors here are more thorough and experienced. I feel more comfortable delivering Dominic here. Lastly, it's important for me that Dominic knows my dad from day one. Without a father figure of his own, I think my dad would be a positive male influence in his life, even if it is only for the first few months. I also do not feel comfortable uprooting him as an infant and moving him across the country. So I figure I'll stick around here until February or March of 2012 when Dominic is at least a few months old. When that time comes, I'll take Dominic and my businesses and make a move. At this point, I'm keeping my options open. It's a big big world out there, with a lot of opportunities for both me and my son. I'm not opposed to going back to Salt Lake City, but I'm also not going to limit myself to only one option. I'm also considering San Diego and Boston as possible destinations. One thing is for sure, I am definitely NOT staying in upstate NY permanently. I will be here longer than I had originally anticipated but I will absolutely 110% NOT be staying here long term.  In the end, my decision will only be based on what's best for Dominic and I - the best place for business growth and the best place for his education.

I sincerely hope my family and friends in Utah can understand that life happens, plans change and I have to do what's best for my son and I. Please know that I love and miss each and every one of you. The way I see things is no matter how far away Dominic and I are, our true family and friends will love and support us no matter what. I fully intend on making every effort to stay in touch with my family and friends who care enough to reciprocate the effort. I'm done trying with people who don't care, and instead plan on focusing all of my efforts on those who do! :)


"It's impossible to be loyal to your family, your friends, and your principles all at the same time."