Ms. Feisty Is Back!

I really wish I had more time to post regularly on here. If I wasn't working until 1 AM every day I would be all over it. I realize most people have absolutely no idea what I do on a daily basis so I figured I would elaborate. Now of course it depends on the day, but a "typical" day consists of; managing my businesses and clients social media pages, optimizing my web sites for SEO, working on building up my sales teams, managing my interns, revising my training process, promoting my upcoming fashion show/fundraiser, writing press releases, doing e-mail marketing, researching/buying new inventory, and working on new designs for the boutique, just to name a few. It makes me cringe every time people ask me when I'm going to "start looking for a job". Yes, there are actually ignorant people out there who assume I do nothing just because THEY don't understand what I do. No, I'm not sitting home in my pajamas watching TV all day. No, I'm not trying to do a "get rich quick scheme." Yes, I run two legitimate businesses. Yes, I work 8 - 12 hours on an average day. Yes, I do make money. And yes, both of my businesses are absolutely still works in progress with a lot of room left to grow. Just thought I would clear that up for a few folks. Hopefully getting that off my chest will ward off an impending meltdown next time someone makes the assumption that because I am "self employed" that means I am "unemployed". I am in fact very much employed, thank you very much.

It's been a long time coming but the feisty Blair everyone knows and loves is back. Watch out world! I've said it before and I'll say it again, my motto for 2012 is "Go big or go home!" I've got some great things in progress, and I just can't wait to prove a few people wrong once they come to fruition. Those of you who doubt me only motivate me more so, by all means,  keep the condescension coming. Not sure where the sudden pent up aggression has come from, but I like it. I think it's just what I needed to light a fire under my ass (in case I wasn't motivated enough already). I refuse to accept anything less than the best from this point forward. Word to the wise - I won't forgot those of you who believed in me or those of you who tried to bring me down. End of story. "Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but true friends will take the bus with you when the limo breaks down."

On another note, Dominic has gone through a sudden "growth spurt" for lack of better terminology. He can hold his head up quite well, he can roll from his belly to his back, he can prop himself up on his elbows, he can hold a rattle, he can make the "g" and "b" sounds, and follow a voice when someone enters a room. My kid is a genius, that's all there is to it. And he just keeps getting cuter everyday. His new favorite thing is batting his eyelashes at me. It amazes me how I love him more every single second I'm with him. He truly is the best part of my day every single day. It's difficult for me to fathom how such an amazing, perfect, sweet little person came from such a complete and utter ignoramus of a sperm donor (see previous paragraph about sudden pent up aggression). I know this much - Dominic is going to by 100 times the man Steve is (yeah the cat's out of the bag, baby daddy's name is Steve). I'm breaking the "dead beat dad" cycle or I'll die trying.

Yep, We're Still Kickin...

No I didn't fall off the face of the earth or quit blogging. Just been too damn busy to post lately. As you can imagine, watching an (almost) 3 month old baby full time, working (more than) full time and planning two very stressful (but lucrative and GENIUS) events is quite time consuming. Business expansion is still going in the right direction and things just keep getting busier. At this rate, I'll have to bring on some full time employees in the near future. "There are never enough hours in a day, but always too many days before Saturday."

Once things slow down a wee bit, I'm taking a damn vacation! Although I can think of about a billion places that would be more fun or relaxing, my first stop is Salt Lake City. I have too many people I want to see, and a few that I feel like I NEED to see sooner than later. I miss my people, my entourage, my groupies. Sometimes I don't feel like me without having my people around. I've done a lot of changing since I landed in NY last May, and I'm anxious to see if/how this will change any of my relationships. Only time will tell...

I took an impromptu and much needed break on Sunday and went to the casino with my cousin. It wasn't planned, but I was long overdue for some "me" time. It was nice to get away and go do something I have fun with (I just love my blackjack!) Even tried my hand in the poker room. But after about an hour I started missing my little man. I was gone for about 6 hours and that's the longest I've been away from him in one sitting. Coming home and giving him a big hug and kiss made my entire day!

I just can't believe my little man will be 3 months old in a couple weeks. Seems like just yesterday I was being induced. And he just keeps getting cuter and smarter everyday. He has such a sweet little personality. I already find myself looking at pictures of him from when he was "little" aka first born, and missing him being so tiny  His new favorite thing is sticking out his bottom lip when he doesn't get his way. I can't imagine where he learned that from ha ha!  The kid already knows how to make me laugh. Time sure does fly when you're having fun!

Just Call Me Polar Bear...

So taking a dip in the river mid-January when it's 14 degrees outside isn't as bad as one might think! I did my "polar bear plunge" this past Saturday with two of my interns and a few friends. The event wasn't as organized as I had hoped, but it was a lot of fun! Some groups even went in costumes. Team TT's Attic took the plunge to a very fitting "I'm Too Sexy".  To be honest, it really wasn't THAT bad and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I went in just about up to my shoulders. The coldness of the water didn't really hit me until after I got out, at which point it felt like knives stabbing the lower half of my body. No biggie. "Security is mostly a superstition. Life is either a daring adventure or nothing."

I interviewed my second round of interns last week and started training my first group of interns today. I'm super excited about having the extra help and some fresh ideas for a few months. I really think we'll be able to make some great progress and plan some awesome events. Time to go balls to the wall!

Every time I think I can't love my little man more, he does something super cute and I fall even more in love with him. It's so funny, before he was born and as I was reading all the pregnancy and baby books I thought I had everything all figured out. I remember thinking "I will NEVER let my baby co-sleep with me" and "I do NOT want Dominic to have a pacifier", yet here I am with a 7 week old who loves his pacifier at bedtime and takes daily naps with his mama. Things changed so much once he was actually here and everything I thought I knew went completely out the window. I've come to realize that it's okay to do things my own way sometimes and not everything has to be done "by the book." Having a child has been such an amazing learning experience so far!

Good Riddance 2011

Wow! I can't believe how fast 2011 has flown by. What a crazy up and down year it has been. It's amazing to think of all the changes I've made in my life in just 12 short months. While I hesitate to say 2011 was a "bad" year, I certainly hope 2012 will be a better year. The last three years have been sub-par, to say the least, with my divorce and the loss of my step dad and best friend so I think I'm long overdue for one kickass awesome year.

Over the past week I've been reflecting on this past year and the things I've learned. I'm happy with the many positive changes this year has brought me, not least of all my beautiful son. I've had a few friends come and go this year, but it has taught me who my true friends are.  Although a few people I thought would always be there left me sorely disappointed, I was also pleasantly surprised by a few certain people who stood by my side through all of my ups and downs. I will be forever grateful to THOSE friends. This year has been a huge lesson in patience. When I decided to regain control of my life and start my own businesses,  I never envisioned it being such a process. I've learned to accept that not everything comes fast and easy, and sometimes things worth waiting for take time. Sometimes it's okay to slow down and enjoy life instead of racing through it on a mission to get to the top. My 9 months of pregnancy and 42 hour labor were also a lesson in patience, ha ha! This year also taught me (once again) that life is full of surprises. At the beginning of 2011, I never would have imagined I would end up back in NY with a baby. But I've learned to take things in stride and I feel like I am more prepared for whatever life throws at me now. 2011 was also a very humbling year. As someone who was successful at a very young age and bought a home at the age of 18, I had a tendency to get on my "high horse" sometimes. But going from living in my own home back to staying with one of my parents (albeit temporary)and starting completely over has had a way of putting me in my place. I've learned that that sometimes it's okay to put your pride aside and accept help from others when they offer it. This year has been a year of moving on. I've learned to deal with the losses I've had over the past 3 years in a more productive way. I've moved forward with my life with the memory of my step dad and best friend close to my heart. And most importantly, I've learned to love someone more than myself again. From the moment I decided to have Dominic, his needs became more important than my own and I knew I would love him more than anything else in the world. Having him was definitely the highlight of my year (and my life thus far). All things considered, I guess 2011 wasn't such a horrible year after all.

I suppose most people see the new year as an opportunity to make positive changes and get a fresh start and I'm no different. I think of all the progress that was made in 2011 and I'm excited to see where this next year will take me. My plan is to become the best mommy (and daddy) I can be this year. I'm all Dominic has and I need to set a good example. This year I'm going to get out of NY (and likely back to Salt Lake City) to begin the next chapter in my life. I'm going to live on my own again so that I can begin to feel like a functional adult once again. I'm going to start working on a plan to buy another house for me and Dominic. This year I'm going to expand my businesses and increase profits. My goal is to hire a few full time employees for each business and have interns each semester. I want to have clients in every state for my marketing firm by the end of the year. And my goal for TT's Attic is to roll out my new and improved top secret idea by June, and to truly start to make a difference with the 20% donations I do each month. My goal is to make a difference in at least one persons life this year, through charity events, volunteering and maybe even some motivational speaking. I've come to believe it is my life's mission to make a difference. I think my life experiences give me the tools necessary to help others and I don't want that to go to waste. I want to go to Ireland this year to Whitepark Bay so I can see the beautiful place my best friend always talked about. I want to spend less time working and more time with my friends and family this year. My goal for the year is to work smarter, not harder. I know I can accomplish these things with the right attitude and determination. It won't be easy but I've always liked a challenge. Oh and I want to make my first million by the time I turn 25 in September, ha ha! Okay that one might be a bit far fetched, but who says I can't try? :) “Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

A big thank you to both of my parents for being so supportive and helpful to me this year. I don't know how I would have done it all without you guys. And an equally big thank you to those friends who have been there for me through this crazy year (you know who you are). I love you guys so much and people like you give me hope for everyone else.

I hope everyone has a safe and happy new year! Bring it on 2012 - I'm gonna make you my bitch!!! ;)

Guess Who's Back!?

After nine months of pregnancy and an exhausting first week of parenting, I'm beyond excited to announce that Blair is back! I was so worried I would lose myself and my edge upon having Dominic, but that couldn't be further from the truth. Now that my little man and I have gotten into somewhat of a routine, I've been able to start focusing on moving forward with work again. I interviewed my first group of interns this week and things look very promising. Having an addition 5-10 set of hands and fresh ideas for the businesses should be just what the doctor ordered. I became a bit antisocial during pregnancy, but I'm ready to get back in the swing of things now. I'm ready to get out and network with people, ready to travel the world with my protege, and ready to start my new life with amazing people by my side. I haven't felt this optimistic about things in a long time. It feels like months and months of hard work is finally coming together. I know I still have a long way to go, but everything is worth is at the end of the day when I get to cuddle up with the cutest baby in the world.


I debated for the last 3 months of my pregnancy whether or not I should send photos and details about Dominic's birth to his sperm donor. I'm still not sure if I made the right decision, but I opted to send them a few days ago. I've yet to receive a response and I don't expect one, but at least now I can tell Dominic someday that I did everything in my power to try and facilitate a relationship between him and his father. There can never be the excuse "I didn't know when he was born" or anything equally as ridiculous. How he could see photos of this beautiful, perfect baby and not even make an attempt is beyond me. I suspect he may be living in denial. But I guess there are some things in life I will never understand. All of my attempts have been recorded and now I can wash my hands of the situation knowing I did everything I could. I am beginning to believe that things truly do happen for a reason and maybe the only purpose he served in my life was to give me Dominic. Perhaps there is someone out there who will be a better father figure for Dominic someday. And fortunately because I didn't put the sperm donor on his birth certificate, it will be that much easier for someone to step into that role  if and when they come along. But that's enough about that. Onward and upward! “Sometimes the cards we are dealt are not always fair.  However we must keep smiling & moving on.”

Dominic had his two week checkup today. Holy smokes has he grown! Last Tuesday he had a brief doctor visit so his pediatrician could check his weight after leaving the hospital. At that point he had lost 8 ounces and was down to 7 lbs 4 ounces. Today, just over a week later, he was up to 8 lbs 12 ounces! Lets just say he's a good eater.  It appears I have a very healthy (and chubby) baby on my hands and I could not be more grateful!

My Little Turkey...

Happy early Thanksgiving! Tomorrow is my due date - I can not believe it! I really thought Dominic would be here by now - this entire pregnancy I felt like he would come early, but apparently he's nice and comfy and doesn't want to leave yet. Went to the doctors today and he said I'm only 1 cm dilated. So unless Dominic decides to come on his own they will be inducing me next Wednesday or Thursday. I have another appointment Monday to schedule the induction for one of those two days. Yee-haw! So in a weeks time I will FINALLY have little Dominic in my arms. I'm so excited, nervous, scared, elated and anxious all rolled into one. It will be interesting to see if he decides to make his debut before then or if we will have to force him out. They are already estimating his weight at over 8 lbs so I have a feeling he's going to be a big baby. And every time I go in for an ultrasound the techs laugh because they can see his little hair floating around in there. No bald baby for me! I just can't wait to see what he looks like. Hopefully I'm not forgetting anything in my 3 hospital bags that I packed (hey, wouldn't want to be stuck there without something!) because ready or not, here he comes...


"It was the tiniest thing I ever decided to put my whole life into."

Come Out, Come Out Wherever You Are...

I know it's been awhile with no update - I've been crazy busy the last few weeks and it doesn't look like life is about to slow down at all! To answer the big question - yes, Dominic is still hibernating. Today is exactly one week away from my due date. Where the hell have the last 9 months gone? This pregnancy has gone by so fast and easy I can hardly believe it. All those people who bitch and moan about how rough pregnancy is really make me wonder. Maybe I've just been lucky. After all, I never even did buy maternity clothes. The old rubber band around the button of my pants trick worked wonders. I will admit though, the last week or so I've become increasingly anxious. I just want him here. RIGHT MEOW. I'm done being patient.

Am I nervous about my impending due date? Pshhh, never. What's there to be nervous about? Giving birth to a 7 - 9 pound baby? That's a walk in the park. Going through a long labor with (hopefully) no pain medication? Bring it on. Bringing home a tiny little human that I'm going to be solely responsible for? I may or may not be fucking terrified.

For my baby shower one of my friends got me a "belly cast" to make a mold of my pregnant belly. I did it last weekend because who knows how much longer I'll be housing a baby. It's a cool little gift, but I don't know what to do with it now that it's done. I've got this mold of these giant boobs and belly sitting in my room and to be honest it's a bit creepy! I guess I'll put it in storage.

So for now I go back to waiting. I'm no good at this game. Guess I'll just continue life as usual in the meantime - still working everyday, still staying active and still daydreaming about holding the little baby living inside me for the past 9 months. Come on Dominic, I'm ready when you are!


"Q. My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A. Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current."

You're Evicted!

I've just about decided it's time to evict Dominic. Pregnancy has been lovely, but I'm ready to have my little man in my arms and not my belly. I want my body back. Pretty sure he "dropped" about 3 days ago, because I can feel it in my inner thighs and all over. Getting out of bed and bending over is becoming a chore. And I waddle when I walk. Come on baby, don't make me wait any longer!

Everything is ready for the big arrival. Crib is put together. Car seat, stroller and hospital bag are in the car and ready to go. I'm sure I'm forgetting a few things but I guess I'll cross that bridge when I come to it. I still can't believe how fast these 9 months have flown by. I never did get to do the pre-natal yoga class, but that's ok. I've come to realize that I'm only one person and even I have my limitations. Dominic has everything he needs (and then some!) so that's what really matters. I just can't wait to kiss his beautiful little face!

Still keeping my fingers crossed for a natural delivery. The less down time, the better. I don't think I'm going to take any "official" time off work. Yes, I know I'll have to slow down for a bit but I see no reason why I can't at least get some work done while Dominic is asleep. I guess I'll just play it by ear. I'm also in a big hurry to get back in shape. Not that I'm concerned with the baby weight I put on (19 lbs total) because it's barely crossed my mind at all and all things considered I look pretty good. But I don't want to be one of those people who has a baby and then all the sudden looks sub-par. Having a baby? Awesome! Having a post-baby "mom" body? Not so much!

"A new baby is like the beginning of all things. Hope. A dream of possibilities."

No It's Not a Rant...Not Quite...

Happy Halloween (almost)! I can't believe October is nearly over already. I went to a Halloween party for a few hours on Saturday. It was good to get out, but with everything going on this past week I didn't have time to get a costume so I felt out of place. I ended up creating a makeshift cowgirl costume using a cowboy hat, boots and hobby horse. Next Halloween will be more exciting - hopefully I'll have a new place to decorate and a little man to dress up! Too soon to get excited? Never.

I'm not going to rant, because quite frankly I no longer have the energy or desire to focus on the negative at this point in my life. But I do have some comments and observations to make about a few things. I've come to believe that people who lie, tell others what they want to hear and/or string people along often do so to mask their own insecurities. If you happen to be one of those people who showers your friends or potential dates with compliments just to keep them around when you don't really mean it, you should probably take a long hard look at yourself. What that tells me is that you're insecure and so afraid of being by yourself that you'll do whatever it takes to keep people "on the sidelines" so you never have to be alone. True confidence comes in taking a chance on one person or a few people you truly believe in, and accepting the risk that things may not work out. If you need "backup" friends or "dates" you have a serious self esteem issue.  That's not to say there's anything wrong with keeping your options open, because there absolutely isn't. Just be honest about it. Anyone can lie or mislead others to keep people around, but true confidence comes in being honest with others and having them still want you to be around. Lying and stringing people along is for pussies. Stop hiding behind your lies and don't say things you don't mean  - have the balls to lay things on the line and own up to your shit. If you can't do that, don't bother speaking to me. End of my non-rant. "Never make someone a priority who only considers you an option."

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed about my specialist appointment on Friday. I'm hoping my positive thoughts will yield a positive outcome. In the meantime, I'm taking comfort in the little things - each time Dominic moves, looking at all the cute things in his nursery, staring at his picture. I couldn't love this kid more!

Full Term! Well Almost...

Just over 5 weeks til my due date and 3 more weeks until I'm considered "full term" - woo hoo! This pregnancy is flying by, I can't believe it's almost time to meet this little baby that's been inhabiting my body for the better part of a year. I have this crazy feeling Dominic will be coming early. I don't know why, as I have no real reason to think that but it's just a hunch. Time to get his crib put together and our hospital bag ready. Is it weird that I'm getting increasingly nervous to leave my house the closer I get to my due date? I have this huge fear of my water breaking in a public place. Yikes!

I have my final ultrasound next week. I can't wait to see what Dominic looks like now that he doesn't resemble an alien so much. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he's in a head down position like a good boy. I really, really, really don't want a C-section. The less down time I have, the happier I will be. Happy mom = happy baby. Soon I'll be writing these posts with a little protege by my side - so damn crazy! "Sometimes the littlest things in life change you forever."

6 More Weeks Til a Rockstar is Born!

Sigh! I'm glad I finally have a minute to actually post. The past few weeks have been crazy with business growing and me trying to get everything ready for Dominic's arrival. I finally got his nursery bedding over the weekend, and no surprise, changed my mind yet again. I loved the pirate theme I picked out before, but when I found an adorable blue ensemble of a "rockstar" monkey playing a guitar, I knew it was perfect. I also put together his jogging stroller and infant car seat and put them in the car so they are all ready to go! Now I just need to get his room painted, crib put together and a bag packed for the hospital. Hopefully when some of this craziness subsides I'll have time to start blogging on a more regular basis again.

I wish I hadn't procrastinated so much on finding a place to do cord blood banking. I've known I want to do it since my first trimester, but with everything else going on I haven't had much time to weigh my options until now. I really hope I have time to research things a bit more and find a reputable place to  store Dominic's cord blood before it's too late. Has anyone else done cord blood banking and does anyone have any recommendations on a reputable/affordable storage facility?

Today I was forced to make a very difficult decision and cut some people from my life. The whole situation has been a bit discouraging and disappointing to me, although I believe it's for the best. Unfortunately, you can't change other people; you can only change the way you react to them. People are going to hurt you, make you sad and piss you off throughout your life. Sometimes you see it coming and sometimes it's the people you least expect. But no matter what the situation, dwelling on it or letting it get you down serves no purpose. I refuse to become bitter. I refuse to become jaded. I am going to keep on looking for the good in people. I am going to keep making the "right" decisions for myself and my child. And I am going to keep focusing on those rare but amazing people who still give me hope for the human race. "The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck!"

Just Another Controversial Post...

Somewhere in my vast amounts of pregnancy/parenting research, I stumbled upon the controversial topic of vaccinations. Prior to coming across this, I honestly hadn't put much thought into the topic. I had always just accepted that immunizations were a "normal" part of a child's healthcare. But the more I look into the statistics, the more leery I become. Now that's not to say I've become some "hippie" who completely opposes all forms of medicine and won't get my child vaccinated at all. There are certain illnesses I would never want to put Dominic at risk for, and as such I will have him vaccinated against them. I'm simply stating, I think the subject at least warrants some more research before I just consent to whatever the doctor recommends. I spent some time today talking to two different and very educated friends on the subject and I've come to the conclusion that although some immunizations do have more benefit than harm, there are others that might be unnecessary. For example, how many children actually carry a risk of contracting Hepatitis B? Is the number of children who have a reaction from the immunization higher than the rate of infection? What, if any, is the correlation between certain vaccinations and autism? Is there any link between vaccines and an increased rate of SIDS? And what's with the chicken pox vaccine? I never had it, I did get chicken pox as a child and I survived just fine. Some might argue that not getting your child vaccinated is "wrong" or neglectful, but I beg to differ. The only thing that would be "wrong" or neglectful is to not conduct your own research and just blindly accept what your doctor is telling you as fact. How reliable are the pharmaceutical companies anyway? There's a damn pill or shot for EVERYTHING these days. Ever stop to think some of these are just money making machines and might be unnecessary, if not harmful? Being a parent is challenging and scary enough as it is. The least we can do as parents is dedicate a little bit of our time to decide what's best for our children and individual situations. If you're a parent who does the research and you end up deciding you want your child to get all the vaccinations, more power to you. But at least educate yourself so you can make an informed decision. I know I'm going to...

“Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.”

Private School vs Public School

Giddy up for Fridays! What a busy week - I am in definite need of a couple days off. And by "days off" I mean me most likely still working because I have a hard time not working for any length of time. I had my 32 week check up yesterday. Doc says Dominic still sounds great, heartbeat was 150 and he is still measuring perfectly for his due date. But I'm not surprised - this is one perfect child in the making!

Among many other things, I've been putting a lot of thought into Dominic's education. Yes, I'm fully aware he's not even here yet and he won't be going to school for another five years after that. But it's always good to have a plan for the future even if that plan changes along the way. I've been looking into private schools all over the country so I can see what all of his options are. I have nothing against public schools. Hell, I went to public school and got along just fine. But quite frankly the state of some public schools these days scares the hell out of me. And who knows where the education system will be in another five years when Dominic is ready for school. As long as I have the financial means when the time comes, I see nothing wrong with giving him an opportunity I didn't have. I always wanted to go to private school growing up, I even went and interviewed at Choate Rosemary Hall in Connecticut when I was in 8th grade. It just wasn't feasible for me to be able to go. Before anyone gets started, I'm well aware that there's a fine line between encouraging Dominic to be successful and pushing my dreams on him. I'll support him no matter who he is or what he decides to do. And no, I don't want him to ever been one of those spoiled rich kids who gets everything handed to him on a silver platter. Nothing annoys me more than people who have a sense of entitlement. But is there really anything so wrong with giving him all the resources possible to be successful? And what's so bad about hoping he goes to Harvard!? ;)

“It is one thing to show your child the way, and a harder thing to then stand out of it.”

Baby Showers, Boutiques & A Beautiful Weekend!

Wow, what a weekend! Although it was very tiring, I have to say this weekend was the perfect combination of fun, busy, productive and exactly what I needed. I had my baby shower yesterday and I'm super thrilled with the way it turned out. Everyone loved the brunch theme and the caterers did a great job with the food. The venue was nice. The cake tasted great. Had a pretty good turnout. My mom even ordered me a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers so I could have a little something to remind me of my best friend there with me. And that's not to mention all the adorable baby gear I got for my little protege. Thanks so much to everyone who came - it was great to see everyone and I'm very appreciative of the lovely gifts. Pictures will be posted within a day or two!

I had my fall boutique & fundraiser today to sell some of my items from TT's Attic and raise money for team "There Is Always Hope". I didn't have a very big turnout but I fared decent with those who did show up. On the bright side, at least the weather was nice and I was able to make some good connections with other people in the area. I'm very much looking forward to the next few months and the new direction the boutique is taking. The launch of the new and improved TT's Attic is going to take a little longer than I anticipated but that's ok because I would rather wait for everything to be just perfect. I'm thinking I will unveil everything just in time for January 2012. Here's a few hints; we will still be carrying the same affordable, edgy merchandise that you love. Our vision of caring and giving back to the community has and will not change - 20% will still be donated to a different charity every month. The new and improved TT's Attic will offer a more personalized fashion experience for our fans. And most importantly, our innovative idea will set us apart from our competition and we know that you'll absolutely love it! Thanks to everyone for the support since our inception last December - I can't wait to show you all what we have in store! “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

I have another busy week ahead, but I'm happy with that because more stuff is getting checked off the "to do" list everyday. I have 3 new contractors starting tomorrow for The Alpha Omega Solution, so that should help with some of my workload. Another baby doctor appointment is scheduled for Thursday, and I've finally managed to work in some much needed "ME" time. I managed to set aside a couple hours to get my hair cut and styled this week - yay! Who'd have thought I'd ever get so excited over something that used to be routine for me. It seems like I haven't had my hair done in forever because I haven't had the time and quite frankly it hasn't been a priority. I'm very much looking forward to my grooming.

As the days pass by, my anxiety and stress is slowly becoming replaced with an increasing level of excitement.  I just can't wait to see my little man. I keep wondering what he's going to look like. I picture him with dark hair like mine and big brown eyes. I can't wait to hold him and kiss him and read bedtime stories to him and get his pictures taken and have Christmas with him. I could go on forever. All I need to do when I'm having a bad day is think about Dominic and it makes me smile. It's still hard to believe I'm capable of feeling such emotions! Only 8 1/2 more weeks - bring it on baby!

I'm Baaack!

As you may have noticed, I took a bit of a hiatus from posting this week. I had a million things going on and no time or motivation to post by the time I was done with everything at the end of the day. I finally feel like I'm back on track after today. The last half of this week I had horrible insomnia which led to me being relatively useless and not as productive as I'd have liked. I get cranky when I go three days without sleep. But I got caught up on my sleep last night and now I'm back in the game!

Finally scheduled the tour of the maternity ward at the hospital and got my baby shower invitations out (well, all but 5 of them that need to go out Monday). Sometimes I'm such a procrastinator. The shower is next Saturday - how exciting! I can't wait to see how it all comes together. My 24th birthday is this Tuesday, so I'll probably also celebrate my birthday on Saturday after the shower. Hopefully I'll be able to make a trip to the casino with the girls. Then on Sunday, I'm having my TT's Attic fall boutique sale and fundraiser. The goal is to get rid of as much inventory as possible so I can put the money into the plans for the completely revamped TT's Attic, and also to raise money for my Out of the Darkness team. If you're in the central NY area, please stop by and help us raise money for a good cause!

Had a 30 week checkup yesterday and according to doc, Dominic still looks/sounds great. His heartbeat is strong and steady. And I didn't gain any weight since my last appointment two weeks ago, so I definitely can't complain about that!

I think I've started nesting. I used to think nesting was a made up thing that pregnant women conjured up. But starting about a week ago, I suddenly started to feel very pressured to get everything done. I feel almost as if I'm working under a deadline that wasn't there before. I feel pressure to get business ramped up, I feel pressure to get everything in Dominic's nursery arranged perfectly, I feel pressure to finish the remaining things on my "to do" list. Barring an early arrival, I have 10 weeks left and still a ton of stuff to do.  Here's to hoping I can get it all done and not lose my mind in the process. Before I know it, I'll no longer be an expectant mama, but instead a proud mama. I can't wait to see my little man and I just want everything to be perfect!

“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Another Crazy Weekend For Baby Mama...

So I took a much needed weekend off from work yet somehow still ended up being crazy busy.  There are never enough hours in the day - where does the time go!? Over the weekend I went and supported my uncle and grandfather at the Republican Committee pig roast and was able to (almost) finish Dominic's baby shower invitations. All in all, I'd consider it a pretty successful weekend. I was going to order the shower invitations custom made to match the skull decorations and theme, but I procrastinated so long that I wouldn't have had time to order them and send them out in time before the shower. I thought handwritten baby shower invitations bought at the store just seemed tacky and cheap, so I custom made each invitation using card stock, velum and ribbon. They didn't turn out too bad! The project was time consuming, but I only have a few finishing touches left to make and then I should be able to get them out by Monday or Tuesday. Woo hoo for checking one more item off the "to do" list!


Dominic gave me a bit of a scare yesterday. I'm well aware that I've already become a paranoid, overprotective mama but I can't help it! My baby doctor told me to start counting his kicks twice a day starting at 28 weeks. Normally I haven no problem counting the kicks as Dominic is usually very active. But yesterday he decided to take an extra long snooze for about 12 hours and made me a wee bit stressed out. I tried drinking cold liquids, hot liquids, laying on my side, eating candy to give him a bit of sugar and nothing worked. Finally I hopped on my mini stair stepper for about 15 minutes as a last ditch effort before I went to bed, and he woke right up. So there I was, finally ready for bed after stressing out all day, and he was ready to play! I laid awake in my bed for about 2-3 hours after that just feeling him kick. I'm sure if anyone had been able to hear me they would have thought I was insane - laying in my room alone at 1 AM, laughing out loud every time Dominic kicked and talking to my belly. I never thought I'd see the day when I started acting like my overprotective mother, but I think it is happening. Someone save me! (Love you Mom! ) "Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

Hello September!

Wow, I can't believe how fast the summer flew by. But for once, I'm actually looking forward to fall and even winter. Call me crazy, but I think it mostly has to do with my increasing excitement about meeting Dominic. He's getting SO big and his kicks/movements have become much more pronounced in the last couple weeks. We had our 28 week checkup yesterday and they said everything still looks/sounds great! Lets just hope Dominic turns into a head down position within the coming weeks, as he is laying sideways right now. It's still hard to imagine that in the coming months I'll be holding a child of my own. Time to get the last items on my "to do" list done so I'm not stressing out when the time comes to deliver Dominic. The chair I was planning to reupholster doesn't fit in the room with his other baby furniture. I guess for now I'll leave it in the garage and hopefully when we move in the spring, I can find a place with a bigger nursery for him.

Tonight I'm volunteering at the Susan G. Komen "For the Cure" breast cancer awareness booth at the NY state fair for 4 hours. Hopefully I'll be able to meet and network with some other great people! If you're going to the fair tonight stop on by and say hello from 6 to 10 PM.

My birthday is also this month, on September 20th. I can't believe I'm going to be 24 already. I feel so damn old! Can't I just stay this age forever? Getting old scares me. Ah well, you're as young as you feel I suppose and right now I feel fantastic! I think perhaps a trip to the casino is in order for my birthday festivities. It won't be quite the same without the cigars and Jack Daniels, but I'll take it. Oh how I love me some craps and blackjack...

My week "off" was relatively insightful. I came up with some great ideas for the businesses on top of the few things I already had in the works. It's going to take time but I know there's tons of potential. My biggest problem is I really really need help. Even if I didn't sleep at all ever, there aren't enough hours in the day for me to physically do everything that needs to be done. Time to start searching more seriously for some employees, freelancers and even investors. Hopefully by getting out and socializing a bit more, I will meet people who might be able to help in one way or another. Because half the battle with any business is knowing the right people. I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go in reaching my goals but what I do know is I'm making progress everyday, I'm still not giving up, these businesses are going to be HUGE and no one is going to see me coming! “All progress occurs because people dare to be different.”

Practice Makes Perfect...

My apologies for my lack of posts this past week. I've taken the last few days as a much needed rest. I spent a full day with my little 5 year old brother, Sabastian, on Friday and completely wore myself out. I thought of it as a practice run for when Dominic gets here. We went to the park, out to dinner and then to see Mr. Poppers Penguins at the drive-in. We both had a great time - some of the things kids say crack me up! But after a long, eventful day of trying to keep up with a 5 year old ball of energy, I found myself very very exhausted. Ah, the things I have to look forward to. Needless to say, I have a lot of work to make up for after my weekend hiatus, so it's back to the grind tomorrow...

I've been doing a lot of thinking and reflecting today. Today marks one year since the last time I saw my best friend, Talese. If only I had known I would never see her again, I doubt I would have ever let her go. The memories are still so fresh in my mind - I remember what she was wearing, what we did that day and what we talked about as if it was just yesterday. I can't believe how fast the time has flown by. If someone would have told me a year ago that today my best friend would be gone, and I'd be in NY running two businesses with a baby on the way I would have thought they were insane. Just goes to show how much things can change in a year's time. One thing that will always stick with me are Talese's last words to me before she left my house the last time I saw her in person. She gave me a big hug and kiss and said "Don't do it. Don't say good-bye because you're going to NY. We'll never say good-bye, we'll always say 'see ya soon'." It's a bit unsettling to me sometimes just how prophetic that statement turned out to be. A year later and thoughts of my best friend still occupy my mind on a very regular basis. Because some people come into your life and you are never, ever the same... "Wherever I am you'll always be more than just a memory."

Happy Anniversary Mom and Steve!

Nine years ago today was my mom and step dad Steve's wedding day. So Happy Anniversary to two of the best parents I could ever ask for. Miss and love you everyday, Steve. Your absence is felt by so many. I will be forever grateful for the lessons you taught me that I can now pass on to Dominic. I can only imagine how hard it must have been to be a step parent to a teenager/young adult, and I know I didn't always make it easy, but you truly did a terrific job and I appreciate it more than I can ever express. Nothing I can ever say will express the amount of gratitude I have for you,  but thank you for everything!

Nine years. My, how time flies! What a crazy nine years it's been. It's amazing to think back and reflect on everything that has changed during the past nine years since I first moved to Utah. It's so crazy to think about the people who have come in and out of my life, my graduation from high school and college, buying my first home, getting married and divorced, losing two of the most epic people I've ever met, finding out I was pregnant and then eventually coming back to NY. I've had a few heartbreaks along the way but also more good memories than I can count. It's been a crazy ride but I wouldn't change a single thing. I wouldn't trade the people I've met or the experiences I've had for the world. I can't wait to see what the next nine years brings for me and Dominic. Here's to the future! "The future is called "perhaps," which is the only possible thing to call the future.  And the only important thing is not to allow that to scare you. "

Excuse Me If I'm A Bit Politically Incorrect...

It's been awhile since I got on my soapbox about something so here ya have it folks...

When I first found out I was pregnant, after the initial shock and going through the "normal" thought process I began to wonder if my dating life was forever doomed. Oh wait, even more doomed would be a more accurate statement. After all, it's hard to find someone I like and get along with, let alone someone who will be good to Dominic. Couple that with the fact that I had never been a big fan of dating people with kids and I was sure karma was going to bite me in the ass. But surprisingly, soon after the news about my bundle of joy got out, the date offers started rolling in even more than usual. For a little while, this phenomenon had me perplexed. Then it dawned on me. Here are my obvious (and inappropriate) observations about my increasing popularity;

1.) To point out the obvious, I'm pregnant. Translation, I can't get knocked up right now because there's already a bun in the oven.To men this means I'm free game to "hit it and quit it" stress free.

2) I'm knocked up so that must mean I put out. Well, duh. Thank you captain obvious. Even men who would normally realize they don't stand a chance seem to think they have a chance now. Silly boys.

3) My jugs are huge. I mean, they were huge to begin with. But now they are HUGE. I don't think I need to explain further why this is appealing to men.

Now this isn't to bash on men or pass judgment, yada yada yada. I mean, who can blame them? I have to admit that list is pretty appealing.  In fact, maybe I'll find a pregnant woman of my own to date..... But the truth of the matter is, even though I am a single, unwed mama-to-be doesn't mean I'm looking for a booty call. I am going to be picky about who I date and even pickier about who I bring around Dominic. And although I'm open to dating, it certainly isn't my top priority. My top priorities right now are Dominic and running my businesses. But, if and when I find someone it will have to be someone who cares about both me and Dominic and can be a good role model. And even then, I will proceed at a snails pace with extreme caution. Because it's not just about me anymore. 'Nuff said! "Anybody who believes the way to a man's heart is through his stomach flunked geography."