The Best Two Months

Wow, where does the time go? Today (well, technically yesterday since it's after midnight now) is the two month mark of when my perfect little man entered this world. I can NOT believe he's growing up so quickly. I have learned so much from him and about myself during the past two months, it's hard to believe I'm even the same person sometimes. I couldn't ask for a smarter, cuter, funnier, more perfect baby. I feel like the luckiest mama in the world when I get to wake up and see Dominic everyday. I love my little baby genius!

Dominic has his two month checkup at the doctors in the morning. I'm going to have them take a second look at his belly - I'm still worried because it just looks abnormally big to me. I'm probably just being paranoid, but I need to know for sure or it will drive me nuts. I'm also super nervous because they want to give him all his vaccinations tomorrow. I posted earlier this summer about my concerns regarding certain vaccines. Well those concerns haven't changed, but unfortunately NY is one of those states that doesn't give you much choice concerning immunizations. I talked to several pediatricians and the general consensus was that vaccines weren't optional. Don't get me wrong - I was ok with most of them, but there are a few that I think are unnecessary. Oh well, guess he's getting them whether I approve or not. It will be a lesson in self control to not stress about it all weekend.

Business has gone crazy all the sudden, which is good and bad. Most days I run around like a chicken with it's head cut off, trying to manage work and baby and yet I still end the day with stuff left on my to-do list. I'm super nervous about my upcoming events - I know I can pull them off, the interns are extremely helpful and all the parts are there, it's just a matter of pushing forward and finding a way around any issues that should arise. I think most of my stress stems from the fact that I'm no longer just counting on myself, but I have several other people counting on me to be successful as well - my interns, the people who are coming to my events, the businesses who sponsor my events and so on. But, I can't let my fear of failure get in the way. I'd rather fail and try it again a different way, than not try at all and never know what the outcome could have been. I'm thankful for all the people who still believe in me after the last two crazy years. I know there are quite a few people who doubt me or think that I've lost my mind. After I quit my stock broker job at E*Trade and went rogue, I feel like some people started to regard me as a "has been". But I assure you, I haven't just been sitting here thinking about the life I used to have. I've been carefully planning and putting into action the life I'd like to have. But, alas, things like this take time and don't happen overnight. At least I'm finally starting to see some results. I feel more positive about this year than I've felt about anything in a long time. "I am not a has-been.  I am a will be."


With all this work, I've had virtually no time for relaxation or "play time". When I do get spare time, I like to spend most of it hanging out with my little protege, reading him stories, taking naps, etc. I'm enjoying this mommy role quite a bit. But I do need to let my hair down every now and again. So I'm planning a night out for St. Patty's Day. Not sure what I'm doing yet, but it was my best friend, Talese's, favorite holiday, so I'll likely honor her by going to an Irish bar and having a few drinks in her honor. I haven't even gone yet and already I feel a little guilty for leaving my little man behind. But adult time is necessary every now and then if I want to keep my sanity. I'll also be going to NYC to see Nickelback and Bush at Madison Square Gardens on April 19th and I'm very much looking forward to that! I don't care what people say, Nickelback is one of my favorite bands and I'm super excited for this concert. Talese and I had plans to go to Nickelback two years in a row and never did make it to their concert. It will be hard to be there without her. I've missed her tons lately. But I know she'll be there in spirit. "Wherever I am you'll always be more than just a memory."

Excitement and a Wee Bit of Anxiety...

This will be my last full week of my 2nd trimester. Mid-next week I'll officially be in the third trimester of my pregnancy - woo hoo! I can't believe how fast this pregnancy has flown by so far. I'm growing increasingly excited , terrified and a wee bit impatient. I'm beyond elated and excited to finally meet my little man and start this next phase of our lives together. But as my due date draws nearer, I'm getting a little bit intimidated at the prospect of being the sole guardian of a little tiny human. It's not the financial aspect that scares me or even the lifestyle changes, but the fact that every little decision I make will shape who he becomes. Also playing into the equation is the fact that Dominic's father is not in the picture and the sole responsibility of making sure he turns out OK is on me. I know I'm fully capable of being a great mom and I'm more than willing to learn. I suppose I just have a bit of anxiety because this will be a completely new role for me and one that I have very little experience in. Hell, before I found out I was expecting I'd never really even babysat before! I've also never changed a diaper and have been made fun of in the past for holding babies like footballs! I hope all of these pregnancy/parenting books I've been reading will prove to be helpful. And the rest I'll just have to learn through experience. Good thing I'm a fast learner! “We are apt to forget that children watch examples better than they listen to preaching.”