All I Need Is Just A Little Patience...

My apologies to anyone who texted or sent me messages yesterday - I wasn't trying to be rude or ignore anyone, but I was at doctors appointments from 7 AM until after 5 PM. I was less than impressed with the perinatal center. My appointment took about 3 hours longer than it should have, the staff was less than friendly and the place itself looked really shabby. At least the doctor was thorough. After a long, stressful day I was cranky and frustrated. And by the time I got home I was beyond tired and hungry and didn't feel like talking to anyone.

So after a series of ultrasounds, and a biophysical markup on Dominic the perinatal specialist was unable to find any other red flags or problems. His heart looks good, he's moving a lot, taking practice breaths, growing like a weed and all of his other organs look good! So what does that mean? Basically they don't know what's causing the swelling on the brain. They said most often when this is the only problem (as it is in this case) it will resolve itself after birth without any negative effects on the baby. However, there are some things they can't test for until he's born so they will continue to monitor him for the first year or two to make sure the swelling doesn't get worse and there aren't any other issues. So the appointment went as well as it could have - huge sigh of relief there. Still keeping my fingers crossed that he's born safe and healthy, but at least I'm no longer losing sleep over the issue. They see no reason to induce me early at this point, so now I just wait....and NOT very patiently, might I add...for my little man to arrive! I'm full term now so the big day could come anytime now :)

Haven't posted about business in awhile but I've been making some serious progress. As far as the marketing firm goes, everything is in place for business to take off, except two things. I still need salespeople and I need to create a more effective and user-friendly training program. Should be fairly easy to resolve those issues. On top of the changes I made to make our services more custom and personalized, I've been doing a lot of work with start up companies. It creates more work for me, but it would be amazing PR for the company if even one of the start ups takes off and we are credited as their marketing/advertising firm. As far as the boutique goes, we're getting bigger everyday! I've have two models who have modeled and promoted for me. I have new inventory. I've found a few new charities to support. And I've been networking like crazy. I'm glad I didn't launch the "new and improved" boutique in October as I had originally planned. By all means, I still plan on launching it. But I think doing it too soon would be business suicide. The more happy customers I have when I launch, the more my idea will take off. I would love to see my "competition" try and steal or recreate this idea once I launch it. To do so would create an even bigger mockery of their already failing business. It's a pretty pathetic state of affairs for their business when I've had multiple people approach me and ask me if this boutique (which shall not be named) has been stealing my ideas. Yeah, it's that obvious. But I guess that's bound to happen when you have good ideas, drive and leadership ability. I'm starting to find the whole thing flattering. "Integrity is the most valuable quality of leadership. Always keep your word."

I can't wait to see what the next year brings for me and Dominic. I'm starting to see some of my goals come to fruition. And I've come to realize who and what is important in my life. I know WHAT I'm going to be doing, but I still don't know where yet. Boston and San Diego are still topping my list of places that would be great for business and education for Dominic.  But I'm keeping my options open to ALL possibilities at this point. All I need now is my little man and I'll be ready to take over the world...

No It's Not a Rant...Not Quite...

Happy Halloween (almost)! I can't believe October is nearly over already. I went to a Halloween party for a few hours on Saturday. It was good to get out, but with everything going on this past week I didn't have time to get a costume so I felt out of place. I ended up creating a makeshift cowgirl costume using a cowboy hat, boots and hobby horse. Next Halloween will be more exciting - hopefully I'll have a new place to decorate and a little man to dress up! Too soon to get excited? Never.

I'm not going to rant, because quite frankly I no longer have the energy or desire to focus on the negative at this point in my life. But I do have some comments and observations to make about a few things. I've come to believe that people who lie, tell others what they want to hear and/or string people along often do so to mask their own insecurities. If you happen to be one of those people who showers your friends or potential dates with compliments just to keep them around when you don't really mean it, you should probably take a long hard look at yourself. What that tells me is that you're insecure and so afraid of being by yourself that you'll do whatever it takes to keep people "on the sidelines" so you never have to be alone. True confidence comes in taking a chance on one person or a few people you truly believe in, and accepting the risk that things may not work out. If you need "backup" friends or "dates" you have a serious self esteem issue.  That's not to say there's anything wrong with keeping your options open, because there absolutely isn't. Just be honest about it. Anyone can lie or mislead others to keep people around, but true confidence comes in being honest with others and having them still want you to be around. Lying and stringing people along is for pussies. Stop hiding behind your lies and don't say things you don't mean  - have the balls to lay things on the line and own up to your shit. If you can't do that, don't bother speaking to me. End of my non-rant. "Never make someone a priority who only considers you an option."

I'm still keeping my fingers crossed about my specialist appointment on Friday. I'm hoping my positive thoughts will yield a positive outcome. In the meantime, I'm taking comfort in the little things - each time Dominic moves, looking at all the cute things in his nursery, staring at his picture. I couldn't love this kid more!

The Most Beautiful Baby I've Ever Seen...

I thought long and hard about whether or not to post about this, but decided to go for it since I've had a couple days to think. And after all, that's what I created this blog for in the first place. First things first, I got to see Dominic on the 3D ultrasound the other day! He looks almost exactly as I had pictured him - big lips, huge chubby cheeks, and yes I could even see his hair. He is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen in my life. I wish he had been a little more cooperative when the ultrasound tech was taking photos. He had his hands up by his face and looks a bit distorted in the few photos we did get.  But you can still tell how absolutely adorable he is. They estimated his weight to be just over 6 pounds right now, so I've definitely got a good sized baby on my hands.

After I got to see him on the ultrasound, the doctor came in to go over everything with me. The doctor then informed me that she was concerned because one of the ventricles in Dominic's brain was enlarged and the brain was appearing slightly swollen on the ultrasound. Apparently this is a fairly rare issue known as ventriculomegaly. The doctor also expressed concerns about his heart rate because it kept dropping throughout the ultrasound. Up until that point, we hadn't had any issues on previous ultrasounds, tests or fetal heart monitors. This news left me beyond scared, surprised, and worried. I couldn't imagine something being wrong with this beautiful baby I had just seen on the ultrasound.

Long story short, after a series of monitors and a fetal EKG with a pediatric cardiologist this morning, they assured me they don't think anything is wrong with Dominic's heart and they think perhaps the drops in heart rate the other day were attributed to his position. Huge sigh of relief there! Not completely out of the woods yet though. I meet with a perinatal specialist next Friday the 4th to have a more in depth ultrasound and possible fetal MRI on his brain. My doctor said if the issue doesn't worsen, it could resolve itself before or after birth. If it does worsen, then they may have to induce me early and/or possibly place a shunt in Dominic's brain after birth to reduce the swelling. And then we also have the issue of figuring out what caused the enlargement to begin with. The doctor said the issue could be genetic or physiological or could be caused by another health problem. I'm trying not to stress too much until we have more concrete answers from the specialist, but it's impossible not to. I'm hoping the additional testing is just a precaution and the tests next Friday will go as well as the ones today. I will keep everyone posted as soon as I have more information. I normally don't buy into religion but I sure have been doing a lot of "praying" since I got this news. Regardless of the outcome, Dominic will be here soon and I think he is absolutely perfect!  

"Parenting is a stage of life's journey where the milestones come about every fifty feet."

8 1/2 Down, 1 Month To Go...

Tomorrow will be exactly one month from my due date! I know I've said it before but I can't believe how fast time flies by. I can only imagine how fast Dominic is going to grow and how fast time will sneak up on me once he's here. I haven't even seen him yet and I'm already worried about him growing up so fast. I organized all of his little clothes this weekend. I think I may have gone just a bit overboard with his wardrobe - he has over 30 hats already. Soon I'll be looking at all these cute things on the most perfect baby ever, instead of just looking at them sitting in a drawer. Crazy!

I've been missing my friends and family in Utah like crazy these past few weeks. Coming to NY has been extremely beneficial for me in terms of getting my life back together and focusing on business. But I miss my people. I have this overwhelming feeling that I need to get out there and see everyone soon, a few people in particular. I'm really hoping to make a trip to Salt Lake City around Christmas/New Years time. I can't wait - what an epic reunion it will be!

I'm still trying to decide on a costume for a Halloween party this coming Friday - any suggestions? I've been going back and forth between being something cute or something funny. I think funny is going to win this year. Unless I think of something else in the meantime, I'm leaning towards Virgin Mary or a pregnant nun. Sacrilegious? Maybe. But still hilarious in my book. Dominic can be my little "immaculate conception". Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I lost my sense of humor. "It's hard to be funny if you have to be clean"

Full Term! Well Almost...

Just over 5 weeks til my due date and 3 more weeks until I'm considered "full term" - woo hoo! This pregnancy is flying by, I can't believe it's almost time to meet this little baby that's been inhabiting my body for the better part of a year. I have this crazy feeling Dominic will be coming early. I don't know why, as I have no real reason to think that but it's just a hunch. Time to get his crib put together and our hospital bag ready. Is it weird that I'm getting increasingly nervous to leave my house the closer I get to my due date? I have this huge fear of my water breaking in a public place. Yikes!

I have my final ultrasound next week. I can't wait to see what Dominic looks like now that he doesn't resemble an alien so much. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he's in a head down position like a good boy. I really, really, really don't want a C-section. The less down time I have, the happier I will be. Happy mom = happy baby. Soon I'll be writing these posts with a little protege by my side - so damn crazy! "Sometimes the littlest things in life change you forever."

Oh Boy!

6 more weeks, 6 more weeks, 6 more weeks! Yeah, that's not excitement or anything. Maybe just a little. Not gonna lie, the closer it gets and the more I sit and actually contemplate having a child of my own, the more I start to get nervous. Everyone has said it's a life changing moment and you'll never understand it until you experience it. I think about how much my life has changed already, and I can't even fathom the way I'm going to feel when I see Dominic for the first time. The reality is setting in more and more each day, and it's making me anxious. In a good way, but anxious nonetheless. With such a smooth pregnancy thus far, it's easy to assume that being a parent will be just as easy. But I know it won't be. Good thing I'm a fast learner and I'm more than ready for a challenge. Doctor says I've got a very active, healthy baby growing inside me so I have a feeling I'm going to have my hands full. Bring it on baby! “Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.”

Things are still coming together quite nicely with both of my businesses, TT's Attic and The Alpha Omega Solution. When I first started my businesses I had no idea that being a business owner could be so time consuming and stressful at times. I had always been successful in my previous jobs as a stock broker and mortgage broker. I would start working for a company, figure out how things worked and quickly move up the ladder, often surpassing even my own expectations. But starting your own business is a COMPLETELY different ball game. There is no structure to figure out. There is no ladder to climb. And there are no asses to kiss. Because you create the structure, you build the ladder and it's your ass you want people to be kissing.  When I have days where progress seems slow I remind myself that it's the small victories that matter and that will eventually get me to my goals. If I've come this far and learned so much in less than a years time, I can only imagine the great things in store for the future. At this point I can feel the pieces slowly moving together everyday. I'm sure I'll make more mistakes and get knocked down a few more times along the way, but trial and error is part of process. I'm no longer afraid of change. I will persevere.

 Eventually I will be moving The Baby Mama Chronicles to a different location. I resisted the urge earlier to register a domain and start building a website. I promised myself I would not take on any additional projects until I finish some of the ones I'm already working on, although it's very tempting. My vision is to have a custom Baby Mama Chronicles website with a logo, photo gallery and blog. Hopefully by the end of the year I'll have it up and running, as it will be a great way for everyone to view updates and pictures of Dominic all in one place. Just another one of my many ideas coming soon to an interweb near you. Stay tuned!

I've been missing my BFF, Talese, a lot lately. I have missed her everyday since she left us but some days are worse than others. Her absence has felt a lot more noticeable this past week or so. Sometimes it's hard to be friends with other people after having her in my life because most people just don't measure up. Some days I look at other people and get so disappointed at their poor character, poor decisions and overall lack of caring for other people.  But before I get too discouraged something always happens and I am reminded that there ARE still good people out there, even if they are rare. And I remember that even through all of her trials, Talese never got jaded or bitter. She kept right on loving more people and that's one of the things I loved most about her. She inspires me everyday to keep moving forward and to keep loving people even if they hurt me. Because when you find those rare people like her it makes putting up with all the other ones completely worth it!

6 More Weeks Til a Rockstar is Born!

Sigh! I'm glad I finally have a minute to actually post. The past few weeks have been crazy with business growing and me trying to get everything ready for Dominic's arrival. I finally got his nursery bedding over the weekend, and no surprise, changed my mind yet again. I loved the pirate theme I picked out before, but when I found an adorable blue ensemble of a "rockstar" monkey playing a guitar, I knew it was perfect. I also put together his jogging stroller and infant car seat and put them in the car so they are all ready to go! Now I just need to get his room painted, crib put together and a bag packed for the hospital. Hopefully when some of this craziness subsides I'll have time to start blogging on a more regular basis again.

I wish I hadn't procrastinated so much on finding a place to do cord blood banking. I've known I want to do it since my first trimester, but with everything else going on I haven't had much time to weigh my options until now. I really hope I have time to research things a bit more and find a reputable place to  store Dominic's cord blood before it's too late. Has anyone else done cord blood banking and does anyone have any recommendations on a reputable/affordable storage facility?

Today I was forced to make a very difficult decision and cut some people from my life. The whole situation has been a bit discouraging and disappointing to me, although I believe it's for the best. Unfortunately, you can't change other people; you can only change the way you react to them. People are going to hurt you, make you sad and piss you off throughout your life. Sometimes you see it coming and sometimes it's the people you least expect. But no matter what the situation, dwelling on it or letting it get you down serves no purpose. I refuse to become bitter. I refuse to become jaded. I am going to keep on looking for the good in people. I am going to keep making the "right" decisions for myself and my child. And I am going to keep focusing on those rare but amazing people who still give me hope for the human race. "The only exercise some people get is jumping to conclusions, running down their friends, side-stepping responsibility, and pushing their luck!"

Just Another Controversial Post...

Somewhere in my vast amounts of pregnancy/parenting research, I stumbled upon the controversial topic of vaccinations. Prior to coming across this, I honestly hadn't put much thought into the topic. I had always just accepted that immunizations were a "normal" part of a child's healthcare. But the more I look into the statistics, the more leery I become. Now that's not to say I've become some "hippie" who completely opposes all forms of medicine and won't get my child vaccinated at all. There are certain illnesses I would never want to put Dominic at risk for, and as such I will have him vaccinated against them. I'm simply stating, I think the subject at least warrants some more research before I just consent to whatever the doctor recommends. I spent some time today talking to two different and very educated friends on the subject and I've come to the conclusion that although some immunizations do have more benefit than harm, there are others that might be unnecessary. For example, how many children actually carry a risk of contracting Hepatitis B? Is the number of children who have a reaction from the immunization higher than the rate of infection? What, if any, is the correlation between certain vaccinations and autism? Is there any link between vaccines and an increased rate of SIDS? And what's with the chicken pox vaccine? I never had it, I did get chicken pox as a child and I survived just fine. Some might argue that not getting your child vaccinated is "wrong" or neglectful, but I beg to differ. The only thing that would be "wrong" or neglectful is to not conduct your own research and just blindly accept what your doctor is telling you as fact. How reliable are the pharmaceutical companies anyway? There's a damn pill or shot for EVERYTHING these days. Ever stop to think some of these are just money making machines and might be unnecessary, if not harmful? Being a parent is challenging and scary enough as it is. The least we can do as parents is dedicate a little bit of our time to decide what's best for our children and individual situations. If you're a parent who does the research and you end up deciding you want your child to get all the vaccinations, more power to you. But at least educate yourself so you can make an informed decision. I know I'm going to...

“Life affords no greater responsibility, no greater privilege, than the raising of the next generation.”

Cold Weather Blues...

Happy October! I must say, it took every ounce of enthusiasm I had to feign excitement in that statement. I'm actually a really big fan of Halloween season, I've just been feeling lethargic and out of it the last few days. It probably doesn't help that I think I'm coming down with something - my throat hurts, body aches and I've been sneezing like crazy. Business is still making progress like crazy but I can't help and get a little discouraged every now and then. Although my freelancers have helped tremendously  I still have way too much to do and never enough time. I wish I could just clone myself about 5 times. Then things would get done. The right way! If I only had one thing to focus on like most normal people I might be ok, but per usual I take on as many projects as possible and often find myself spread too thin - two businesses, getting ready for baby, trying to plan for upcoming charity and fundraising events, the list goes on. I just keep reminding myself of the light at the end of the tunnel. Someday (hopefully sooner than later) when my businesses are uber-successful and I'm making a difference in the world with my little protege by my side, everything will have been worth it!

It's really disheartening to me that out of ALL the people I know (and I know quite a few) only 5 have found it in their heart to either donate or volunteer their time for this year's Out of the Darkness walk. Now, before I get inundated with excuses as to why YOU can't help, I am fully aware that some people have legitimate reasons for not participating. If that's the case, you're off the hook. But if you just read the last few sentences and still have a guilty conscience, DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! Donate $5. Hell, donate 3 hours of your time this upcoming Saturday October 8th for a good cause. It won't kill you. In fact, it might save someone else! Donate here or join team "There Is Always Hope". A big thank you to those of you who have donated or are planning to join me for this very important event! “Many small people, in many small places, do many small things, that can alter the face of the world.”

On a more positive note, I received the cutest box full of handmade baby blankets, pillows, and other various items from my younger step brother and sister last week. They are in Salt Lake City and I miss them a lot! It made me smile to know they were thinking of me and Dominic and took the time to make so many cute (and interesting) things. I think the thing that cracked me up the most was the Batman cape my little sis made - she's got the right idea, my kid is obviously going to be a super hero! Thanks Mikey and Sarah! Also wanted to give a big thanks to one of my good friends, Krista, for buying me a prenatal massage gift certificate. It's much needed and I can't wait to use it. When everything else is going wrong, it's nice to know there are still some good people in my life that I can count on.

Private School vs Public School

Giddy up for Fridays! What a busy week - I am in definite need of a couple days off. And by "days off" I mean me most likely still working because I have a hard time not working for any length of time. I had my 32 week check up yesterday. Doc says Dominic still sounds great, heartbeat was 150 and he is still measuring perfectly for his due date. But I'm not surprised - this is one perfect child in the making!

Among many other things, I've been putting a lot of thought into Dominic's education. Yes, I'm fully aware he's not even here yet and he won't be going to school for another five years after that. But it's always good to have a plan for the future even if that plan changes along the way. I've been looking into private schools all over the country so I can see what all of his options are. I have nothing against public schools. Hell, I went to public school and got along just fine. But quite frankly the state of some public schools these days scares the hell out of me. And who knows where the education system will be in another five years when Dominic is ready for school. As long as I have the financial means when the time comes, I see nothing wrong with giving him an opportunity I didn't have. I always wanted to go to private school growing up, I even went and interviewed at Choate Rosemary Hall in Connecticut when I was in 8th grade. It just wasn't feasible for me to be able to go. Before anyone gets started, I'm well aware that there's a fine line between encouraging Dominic to be successful and pushing my dreams on him. I'll support him no matter who he is or what he decides to do. And no, I don't want him to ever been one of those spoiled rich kids who gets everything handed to him on a silver platter. Nothing annoys me more than people who have a sense of entitlement. But is there really anything so wrong with giving him all the resources possible to be successful? And what's so bad about hoping he goes to Harvard!? ;)

“It is one thing to show your child the way, and a harder thing to then stand out of it.”

I'm Not Prissy, But...

Today I took my tour of the maternity ward at Crouse Hospital where I'll be delivering Dominic. Overall, I didn't learn much more than what I already knew from my doctor and the hospital website. However, I was a bit disappointed with the way the labor/delivery and patient rooms were set up. Most of the hospitals I've encountered up to this point have evolved, complete with birthing suites where the patients deliver baby and stay in the same room, sans a roommate. But much to my chagrin, I found out I will be delivering in one room and staying in another, which may or may not be private. Apparently the hospital does have some private maternity rooms, but they are first come, first serve and there is no way to reserve or pay more to guarantee one. Way to burst my bubble! I'm normally not picky or snobby, but I sure as hell don't want to share my first days with Dominic with some stranger who is separated by a curtain. The whole thing seems a bit antiquated to me. And with the amount of money the hospital will be getting on the deal, I want a private room damn it! On the bright side, I'm at least thankful that the hospital does encourage rooming-in, where Dominic will stay in the room with me as much as possible, barring any complications. I guess for now I'll just keep my fingers crossed that I don't deliver at the same time as a hundred other expectant mamas, and that a private room will be available when Dominic decides to greet the outside world.

I'm not going to go on another big tangent about crazy people who stalk me, because I've already had that rant. However, I will say thank you - the attention is very flattering (albeit a little frightening). It's reassuring that some people find my business sense and life so amazing, they find it necessary to mimic my behaviors literally to a point of quoting me verbatim and passing it off as their own. Next time you're trying to pass for me, quote this, "It is far better to be a first rate version of yourself, than a SECOND RATE version of someone else." :)

Baby Showers, Boutiques & A Beautiful Weekend!

Wow, what a weekend! Although it was very tiring, I have to say this weekend was the perfect combination of fun, busy, productive and exactly what I needed. I had my baby shower yesterday and I'm super thrilled with the way it turned out. Everyone loved the brunch theme and the caterers did a great job with the food. The venue was nice. The cake tasted great. Had a pretty good turnout. My mom even ordered me a beautiful bouquet of sunflowers so I could have a little something to remind me of my best friend there with me. And that's not to mention all the adorable baby gear I got for my little protege. Thanks so much to everyone who came - it was great to see everyone and I'm very appreciative of the lovely gifts. Pictures will be posted within a day or two!

I had my fall boutique & fundraiser today to sell some of my items from TT's Attic and raise money for team "There Is Always Hope". I didn't have a very big turnout but I fared decent with those who did show up. On the bright side, at least the weather was nice and I was able to make some good connections with other people in the area. I'm very much looking forward to the next few months and the new direction the boutique is taking. The launch of the new and improved TT's Attic is going to take a little longer than I anticipated but that's ok because I would rather wait for everything to be just perfect. I'm thinking I will unveil everything just in time for January 2012. Here's a few hints; we will still be carrying the same affordable, edgy merchandise that you love. Our vision of caring and giving back to the community has and will not change - 20% will still be donated to a different charity every month. The new and improved TT's Attic will offer a more personalized fashion experience for our fans. And most importantly, our innovative idea will set us apart from our competition and we know that you'll absolutely love it! Thanks to everyone for the support since our inception last December - I can't wait to show you all what we have in store! “Life is change. Growth is optional. Choose wisely.”

I have another busy week ahead, but I'm happy with that because more stuff is getting checked off the "to do" list everyday. I have 3 new contractors starting tomorrow for The Alpha Omega Solution, so that should help with some of my workload. Another baby doctor appointment is scheduled for Thursday, and I've finally managed to work in some much needed "ME" time. I managed to set aside a couple hours to get my hair cut and styled this week - yay! Who'd have thought I'd ever get so excited over something that used to be routine for me. It seems like I haven't had my hair done in forever because I haven't had the time and quite frankly it hasn't been a priority. I'm very much looking forward to my grooming.

As the days pass by, my anxiety and stress is slowly becoming replaced with an increasing level of excitement.  I just can't wait to see my little man. I keep wondering what he's going to look like. I picture him with dark hair like mine and big brown eyes. I can't wait to hold him and kiss him and read bedtime stories to him and get his pictures taken and have Christmas with him. I could go on forever. All I need to do when I'm having a bad day is think about Dominic and it makes me smile. It's still hard to believe I'm capable of feeling such emotions! Only 8 1/2 more weeks - bring it on baby!

Bitch Mode - ON

My overwhelming need/desire to bitch and rant is likely related to my aforementioned pregnancy mood swings, but regardless of the underlying reason, that's what this post is dedicated to. So without further ado, I now interrupt your regularly scheduled Baby Mama Chronicles with an airing of my grievances. Any similarities to actual moronic persons is completely intentional.

Grievance #1) Sometimes as adults, we come to a point in our lives when we choose to no longer be friends with certain individuals or groups of people. It may be due to disagreements, lifestyle differences or simply growing apart . There is no reason why situations like this can't be handled in an adult-like manner. Acting like a 14 year old PMS'ing high school bitch does not change the situation or make you look good. When you bad mouth the person to others and continue to stalk them 8 months after the friendship has ended, you are not only wasting your time, but you look like a giant pathetic douche. Call me crazy, but I'd prefer to take the more productive, mature route and move on with my life, look back fondly upon the good memories that took place with the person, wish them the best and let bygones be bygones.  Perhaps if some people didn't exert so much negative energy towards others, they'd lead a more fulfilling life. And their business wouldn't be failing miserably. Oops, did I say that out loud? If you don't like me, then don't join my fucking fan club but constantly stirring the pot and making me the center of your world is completely unnecessary.

Grievance #2) I know how the world turns and it's highly unlikely you'll succeed at pulling the wool over my eyes. This goes for friends, acquaintances and potential suitors. If you're fake, phony, and always tell me what I want to hear that's a huge red flag. I don't have the time or energy to play games so don't attempt it. I'm typically not one to bash on guys because truth be told I relate to guys far better than women in many ways. However, I've heard some epic lines of bullshit recently that both annoyed me and made me laugh. Telling me I'm beautiful or amazing does not make up for acting shady and disappearing 50% of the time. If you're interested, you'll make it a priority to talk to me instead of making excuses as to why you can't. Sending me "maintenance texts" every so often to string me along gets you nowhere. I invented that game and you won't win. Bottom line - actions speak louder than words so if you're interested, shut your damn mouth and SHOW me. Don't waste your time with feeding me a line because I won't bite. Mean what you say and say what you mean. I've been around the block a few times and I've seen this behavior a time or two. Don't flatter yourself - you're not THAT good and I will catch on. And when I do, expect to be called out on your bullshit. "Believe none of what men say, and all of what they do."

Grievance #3) If you don't know how to be a good friend, take a hike. I've learned one too many times that someone can be here today and gone tomorrow. If you love me or care about me, show me. Don't assume I'll always be around. I'd much rather have a handful of close friends than 100 half-assed "friends of convenience." People can say what they want about me, and I'm well aware of my faults, but I'm the friend that will be there to help you move, be a shoulder you can cry on, invite you to Thanksgiving when your own family has turned their back on you and go with you to the doctors when you have a scare, among other things. I just expect the same in return. If that's more than you have to give, kindly remove yourself from my life. I believe true friendships can last over long distances and over many years. If I'm gone for 6 months and you can't find the time to  pick up the phone even once or at least return my call, good riddance. I'm one of the busiest people I know and I ALWAYS make time for the people I care about, no matter how near or far they are. I deserve the same in return and I'm no longer settling for anything less.

Now back to your regularly scheduled programming. Thank you and have a splendid day! :)

Happy Birthday to Me!

It's my birthday, it's my birthday - woo hoo! Actually this is the first birthday I can ever remember not celebrating the entire month, or at least week.  Last year I spent the day shopping, having lunch and drinks with friends and ending the night with some ever memorable karaoke, (I've posted a picture from last year's festivities). This year it just doesn't seem like I have enough time to set aside a whole week for celebrations. I have more important things to focus on - baby, work, upcoming non-profit events, etc. Regardless of my birthday plans or lack thereof, I can't believe I'm 24 already. It seems like just yesterday I was turning 18. Next year I'll be a quarter century old, man that sounds scary! Guess this year I'll just settle for an evening at home with family and cake, and possibly a girls night this Saturday after my baby shower. Maybe birthdays are overrated after all.

Less than 10 weeks left to go until Dominic makes his debut! I can't believe how fast time is flying by. I still feel great, and I've yet to wear maternity clothes. I'm still wearing my normal clothing, although my jeans are now held together by a hair tie. Physically, my only complaint would be the occasional insomnia. Other than that, I'm still carrying on my life as usual - working away, exercising before bed, going out and doing things when I feel like it. The only notable difference over the past couple weeks is the mood swings. This has been a relatively problem free pregnancy, but I did get moody for about 4-5 weeks during the first trimester and I think it's happening again. I've been getting frustrated and annoyed more easily than usual these days. In fact, the only thing that hasn't annoyed me over the past couple weeks is Dominic. Feeling him move or kick always brings a smile to my face no matter what kind of mood I'm in. Here's to hoping everyone else can put up with my grumpy ass over the next 10 weeks without locking me in a cage!

Still making progress by leaps and bounds for both businesses. Not quite where I want or need to be just yet, but everyday I see notable changes that keep me moving forward.  I can now see the light at the end of the tunnel, which is better than where I was 3 months ago! I've started looking more seriously into moving to San Diego. My goal is to move out of NY by spring, so now is as good a time as any to start checking out apartments and office space. At the very least, my search has given me an idea of what's out there and gives me something to look forward to. I'm excited to see where my little man and I will be in 6 months! "Success doesn't come to you. You go to it."

I'm Baaack!

As you may have noticed, I took a bit of a hiatus from posting this week. I had a million things going on and no time or motivation to post by the time I was done with everything at the end of the day. I finally feel like I'm back on track after today. The last half of this week I had horrible insomnia which led to me being relatively useless and not as productive as I'd have liked. I get cranky when I go three days without sleep. But I got caught up on my sleep last night and now I'm back in the game!

Finally scheduled the tour of the maternity ward at the hospital and got my baby shower invitations out (well, all but 5 of them that need to go out Monday). Sometimes I'm such a procrastinator. The shower is next Saturday - how exciting! I can't wait to see how it all comes together. My 24th birthday is this Tuesday, so I'll probably also celebrate my birthday on Saturday after the shower. Hopefully I'll be able to make a trip to the casino with the girls. Then on Sunday, I'm having my TT's Attic fall boutique sale and fundraiser. The goal is to get rid of as much inventory as possible so I can put the money into the plans for the completely revamped TT's Attic, and also to raise money for my Out of the Darkness team. If you're in the central NY area, please stop by and help us raise money for a good cause!

Had a 30 week checkup yesterday and according to doc, Dominic still looks/sounds great. His heartbeat is strong and steady. And I didn't gain any weight since my last appointment two weeks ago, so I definitely can't complain about that!

I think I've started nesting. I used to think nesting was a made up thing that pregnant women conjured up. But starting about a week ago, I suddenly started to feel very pressured to get everything done. I feel almost as if I'm working under a deadline that wasn't there before. I feel pressure to get business ramped up, I feel pressure to get everything in Dominic's nursery arranged perfectly, I feel pressure to finish the remaining things on my "to do" list. Barring an early arrival, I have 10 weeks left and still a ton of stuff to do.  Here's to hoping I can get it all done and not lose my mind in the process. Before I know it, I'll no longer be an expectant mama, but instead a proud mama. I can't wait to see my little man and I just want everything to be perfect!

“Finish every day and be done with it. You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.”

Another Crazy Weekend For Baby Mama...

So I took a much needed weekend off from work yet somehow still ended up being crazy busy.  There are never enough hours in the day - where does the time go!? Over the weekend I went and supported my uncle and grandfather at the Republican Committee pig roast and was able to (almost) finish Dominic's baby shower invitations. All in all, I'd consider it a pretty successful weekend. I was going to order the shower invitations custom made to match the skull decorations and theme, but I procrastinated so long that I wouldn't have had time to order them and send them out in time before the shower. I thought handwritten baby shower invitations bought at the store just seemed tacky and cheap, so I custom made each invitation using card stock, velum and ribbon. They didn't turn out too bad! The project was time consuming, but I only have a few finishing touches left to make and then I should be able to get them out by Monday or Tuesday. Woo hoo for checking one more item off the "to do" list!


Dominic gave me a bit of a scare yesterday. I'm well aware that I've already become a paranoid, overprotective mama but I can't help it! My baby doctor told me to start counting his kicks twice a day starting at 28 weeks. Normally I haven no problem counting the kicks as Dominic is usually very active. But yesterday he decided to take an extra long snooze for about 12 hours and made me a wee bit stressed out. I tried drinking cold liquids, hot liquids, laying on my side, eating candy to give him a bit of sugar and nothing worked. Finally I hopped on my mini stair stepper for about 15 minutes as a last ditch effort before I went to bed, and he woke right up. So there I was, finally ready for bed after stressing out all day, and he was ready to play! I laid awake in my bed for about 2-3 hours after that just feeling him kick. I'm sure if anyone had been able to hear me they would have thought I was insane - laying in my room alone at 1 AM, laughing out loud every time Dominic kicked and talking to my belly. I never thought I'd see the day when I started acting like my overprotective mother, but I think it is happening. Someone save me! (Love you Mom! ) "Making the decision to have a child is momentous.  It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body."

Just Another One of My Rants...

I debated internally as to whether or not I should post this, but per usual I said, "what the hell, why not?" I'm sure this post will likely piss off at least one or two people, but that's nothing new. In talking to a friend last week, I realized just how much I despise lazy people. Not that I didn't know before, but it really kinda dawned on me during the conversation that lazy people absolutely disgust me. Especially lazy pregnant women. Now before anyone gets all worked up, I understand pregnant women need to reduce stress and get rest during pregnancy (myself included). And this obviously doesn't apply to women who have a valid medical reason for being on bed rest.  However, in most situations, carrying a child doesn't give anyone the right to turn into a useless pile of crap for 9 months. There is absolutely no reason why pregnant women can't continue on with normal lives, work, run errands, socialize with friends and do most of the activities they did pre-pregnancy. I also feel the same way about pregnant women who think it's okay to just eat fried grease for 9 months because they are "pregnant not fat." You all know the type of person I'm talking about. The same pregnant girl who can't lift a finger around the house because she is "with child." Don't get me wrong, I love my chocolate cake as much as the next pregnant girl and I've never dieted in my life, but use some common sense and make good choices for your child. Turning into a heffer is NOT a prerequisite for child birth.  My point is, some people take the whole "I'm pregnant" excuse to an extreme. In my opinion, it's pregnant women like I just described that give pregnant women everywhere a bad name. Pregnancy is a wonderful, beautiful thing, yada yada yada but it shouldn't make anyone feel entitled to act like a raging lazy moron. Bottom line, if you can't get off your ass and make healthy choices and stay active during pregnancy, how the hell are you going to do it for your child once he or she is here? Something to think about...
"Human nature is above all things lazy."

He's a Growing Machine

Maybe I'm just crazy, but it feels like my child has doubled in size and strength over the last week. What were once small subtle movements at random intervals throughout the day, are now powerful kicks and punches all day (and night) long. He just loves to kick me in the ribs. I can only imagine what these movements are going to feel like as he continues to grow. With just over 11 weeks left, this shit is about to get real!

I took the advice of a few friends and signed up for some "mommy" meetup groups last week. It will give me a chance to socialize with other people while I'm here, and bring Dominic on little play dates once he's born. How exciting! I plan on meeting with the group coordinator next week, and hopefully it will be just what I was looking for.

I'm making some progress on my "to do" list. I finished the book about Talese that I wanted to make for Dominic, now I just need to finish working on the book about my step dad Steve. And I still need to schedule the hospital tour, my prenatal yoga classes and send out my baby shower invites. But I'm making progress so that's a plus. One day at a time...

I've finally given in and decided to hire some contractors to do some "busy work" aka menial tasks for me. If only I had enough faith in other people to allow anyone to do some of my more time consuming, difficult tasks I'd be golden. I suppose I'll evaluate how the contractors do with the easy tasks and take it from there. It's a step forward towards achieving my ever-increasing goals at least. I may not go about business (or anything in my life) the conventional way, but I always end up getting what I want and that's what matters. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'm not going anywhere and success is my ONLY option! "Unless you're willing to have a go, fail miserably, and have another go, success won't happen."

I'm Having a Baby!

Oh my God, I'm having a baby! Not that that wasn't obvious or anything. It's just started to hit me a bit more the past few weeks. As my belly keeps growing and Dominic keeps getting stronger, it's becoming much more apparent that I'm carrying a tiny human around. I actually had a hard time painting my toenails this morning. When the hell did that happen!? My belly isn't that big in comparison to other women as far along as I am, but with a 2 pound child lodged in my mid-section, bending down still proves to be challenge. It's a good thing I'm flexible and can lift my legs up to shave them, otherwise I'd be in bad shape. Now accepting applications for personal assistants to paint my toenails and buckle my sandals. Any takers?

I actually ended up having a good time on Friday when I volunteered for the Susan G. Komen breast cancer prevention booth at the fair. The other volunteers were around my age and seemed to have quite a bit in common with me. Perhaps I was wrong - maybe there are some decent people around here. There is hope for my social life yet! It was also nice to hear some of the inspiring stories from people who have beat cancer, and to hear some of the reasons behind why other people volunteer. It makes me happy to know there are good people left in the world, no matter how few and far between they might be. "A fellow who does things that count, doesn't usually stop to count them."

In other good news, my mastiff Trixie went to her new home today! I miss her so much, but I'm just glad she went to a good home where I will still be able to visit her. Thanks again to my good friend, Eric Ray, for getting me in touch with his sister who happened to be looking for a big dog. Trixie's new owners sent me over a couple pictures earlier today and she's still so damn cute! I hope she likes her new home and that everyone loves her as much as I do.

<3 Talese Turner <3 10/28/76 - 09/04/10
"There Is Always Hope"

Hello September!

Wow, I can't believe how fast the summer flew by. But for once, I'm actually looking forward to fall and even winter. Call me crazy, but I think it mostly has to do with my increasing excitement about meeting Dominic. He's getting SO big and his kicks/movements have become much more pronounced in the last couple weeks. We had our 28 week checkup yesterday and they said everything still looks/sounds great! Lets just hope Dominic turns into a head down position within the coming weeks, as he is laying sideways right now. It's still hard to imagine that in the coming months I'll be holding a child of my own. Time to get the last items on my "to do" list done so I'm not stressing out when the time comes to deliver Dominic. The chair I was planning to reupholster doesn't fit in the room with his other baby furniture. I guess for now I'll leave it in the garage and hopefully when we move in the spring, I can find a place with a bigger nursery for him.

Tonight I'm volunteering at the Susan G. Komen "For the Cure" breast cancer awareness booth at the NY state fair for 4 hours. Hopefully I'll be able to meet and network with some other great people! If you're going to the fair tonight stop on by and say hello from 6 to 10 PM.

My birthday is also this month, on September 20th. I can't believe I'm going to be 24 already. I feel so damn old! Can't I just stay this age forever? Getting old scares me. Ah well, you're as young as you feel I suppose and right now I feel fantastic! I think perhaps a trip to the casino is in order for my birthday festivities. It won't be quite the same without the cigars and Jack Daniels, but I'll take it. Oh how I love me some craps and blackjack...

My week "off" was relatively insightful. I came up with some great ideas for the businesses on top of the few things I already had in the works. It's going to take time but I know there's tons of potential. My biggest problem is I really really need help. Even if I didn't sleep at all ever, there aren't enough hours in the day for me to physically do everything that needs to be done. Time to start searching more seriously for some employees, freelancers and even investors. Hopefully by getting out and socializing a bit more, I will meet people who might be able to help in one way or another. Because half the battle with any business is knowing the right people. I still have a lot to learn and a long way to go in reaching my goals but what I do know is I'm making progress everyday, I'm still not giving up, these businesses are going to be HUGE and no one is going to see me coming! “All progress occurs because people dare to be different.”